Something More
by SweetPea2591
Summary: Seventeen year olds, Bella and Edward, have been best friends ever since they were young. Slowly, they both realize they see each other as something more than just friends. But when a tragic accident happens, will their love be strong enough to survive?
1. Chapter 1: Phone Call

Something More

Something More

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, nor any of its characters.

Bella and Edward have been best friends ever since they were in kindergarten. Now in their senior year of high school, they begin to see one another as something more than just a friend. Will they confess how they truly feel before its too late?

Just so you know, everyone in this story is human and Edward has only one sibling, Alice. Emmett, Rosalie, and Jasper may come into the story later, I have not yet decided, but if they do they will not be part of Edward's family. This is also my first ever fan fiction so any type of positive and negative criticism is greatly appreciated. I also apologize for any types of grammatical or spelling errors.

Chapter 1: Phone Call

It was nearly 11 o'clock when Bella's phone rang. Half asleep at the time, she flew out of her bed, hitting her head on the head board. She rubbed her now pounding head as she got up to answer the phone.

"Uhmm hello?" Bella said into the phone as she moaned in pain.

"Well no need to sound so excited to hear me. It's only been what, two months? Since I last spoke to you", a familiar sarcastic voice answered.

Edward had spent the entire two months of summer vacation with his parents and sister Alice in Alaska, visiting some old family friends. Apparently, since it was going to be their last vacations together as a family before their children went off to college, Carlisle and Esme had them all stay in one of those ice hotels with no connection to the outside world. No phones, telephones, or computers, just cold weather and 24/7 family bonding time.

"Edward! Oh my god, how are you? How is Alaska? And yeah, I hit my head on my head board going to get the phone?", Bella told Edward, trying to hide her embarrassment.

Bella could hear his laughter on the other end. She rolled her eyes at him even though he couldn't see her.

He responded, "Things like that only happen to you, I swear. But as long you are okay. And Alaska was hmm, well, cold. Too cold for me, but Alice enjoyed it. You would have cracked up if you would have seen her here. She must have bought twenty ski outfits"

"Oh I didn't know Alice skied. Is she any good?"

"That's my point, she doesn't ski. In fact she is terrified of heights so flying down a hill at top speed isn't exactly her cup of tea. She just wanted to look like a native, or so she claimed. She could have fooled me thought because I have yet to someone else in Alaska in a bright purple jacket other than her."

Bella couldn't help but burst out in laughter. The sheer thought of Alice all decked out in ski garb yet not having the slightest incentive to ski was quite easy to picture. But most of all, she just loved to hear Edward talk. He always spoke with so much emotion that it was hard for her to resist getting all caught up in the moment with him and forget about everything else. It was like the whole world stopped and they were the only two people in it.

After catching her breath from laughing she said, "I would have loved to see that. Gotta love Alice, though"

"Try going on vacation with her and you might want to rethink that", Edward joked. He continued, "Anyway, I got great news. I am coming home tomorrow, probably around 5 o'clock. Why don't you come my house for a bit, maybe help me unpack?"

"Sounds great, I will be there. At least you have some interesting stories to tell me. I mean, you spend two months in Alaska while I am stuck here in Forks. Seriously, the most exciting thing that happened to me all summer was cliff diving"

Edward gasped in horror. His voice was furious, "You did what?! Cliff diving?! Isabella Swan, what is wrong with--"

Bella quickly cut him off, noticing his intense panic, "Okay okay, calm down, I was only kidding. Come on, can you honestly imagine me cliff diving? Me, of all people? I am not some crazy psycho with a death wish. You should know me better than that. I ended up spending practically my whole summer down by the beach in La Push. And yes, I made it out of there in one piece."

She heard him sigh in relief before he answered, giving a light chuckle, "Sure, Bella, start giving me heart attacks already. I am not even back home yet." His tone turned more serious, "You know I worry about you".

And how did Edward worry about Bella. Much more than he knew he should. Of course as her best friend he was suppose to care about her, but he always had a lingering feeling in the back of his mind that it was beyond that. For the whole two months he was away, there was not a moment where he didn't wonder about Bella; what she was doing, was she okay, everything. He knew him and Bella would never be more than the close friends that they were. Bella would never run the risk of losing their friendship if their relationship was to fail. After all, the awkwardness that would be between if they were to break up would prevent them from having the bond they have now. So with things going as they were, Edward will always wonder what could have been.

Bella couldn't help but giggle at Edward's response, not realizing the raw honesty of his words, "You worry too much."

"Maybe", he said trying to conceal the slight disappointment in his voice, "Well it is getting late; I should let you get back to bed. Sorry for waking you up"

"It's okay. It was nice to hear your voice again. Well get a good night sleep and have a safe flight home"

"Thanks, you too. Sleep well"

Bella was about to hang up the phone when Edward spoke again, "Oh wait", he said anxiously.

"Yes?"

"I really missed you, Bells, . . . a lot", Edward told her in a kind of voice that was on the board line of something more than friends. It was a line he tried not to cross too often and when he did, not to make it so obvious. But he had a feeling he gave it away this time just by the simply fact that he called her Bells, his nickname for her. No one else called her Bells but him. In Edward's mind, it was his way of saying that she only belonged to him, something he knew was out of line but he didn't care. He hoped she only took what he was saying lightly, for he didn't want her to catch on to his true feelings for her.

Bella felt her blood rush up to her cheeks as it so commonly did whenever he spoke to her like that. She couldn't help but swoon, even the littlest much, whenever he called her Bells. It wasn't healthy for her to feel this way about him and she knew it. Edward and she were best friends, nothing more. And she liked it that way. Or did she? It was the way they were supposed to be. Nothing more, right? She knew it was pointless to try and persuade herself that anything would every change between them but she couldn't help but take a small advantage of the present opportunity.

She replied in a sweet tone, "I missed you too. I have been going kind of crazy without you." Bella bit her tongue right after. She had said too much. She had crossed the line.

Edward was left speechless. While it was something he had always secretly hoped for, he never expected her to answer him like that. Not knowing what to do, he panicked. He let out an involuntary burst of nervous laughter and said without thinking, "Yeah right. My absence is hardly an excuse for your craziness".

Bella knew he didn't mean anything by it. It was just their way of joking around as they always have. She felt like a fool for even thinking that the thought of her being serious would have crossed his mind.

"I guess so. Well, night", Bella said to him flatly before hanging up.

The instant he heard the phone click on the other end, Edward's heart sank. He finally had his chance and he blew it. For the first time ever, Bella responded to his subtle advances towards her and he acted like a jerk. He thought, "Next time it is going to be different", as he clutched onto a small black jewelry box. "I am done waiting around", he thought as he put the small box in his pocket and left for the airport.

Please review; feel free to leave any type of feedback, positive or negative. I am currently working on the second chapter so as long as people are interested, I am planning to update as soon as possible and continue the story. Thank you.


	2. Chapter 2: Back Home

Chapter 2: Back Home

First, I would like to thank anyone who has read or reviewed by story. Thanks, it means a lot. And second, in this next chapter, Jacob Black will be coming. Just to make everyone aware, in my story, Jacob is the same age as Bella, so he is 17, and he goes to Forks High School along with everyone else.

Chapter 2: Back Home

"Bella, it is almost 5:30 already! Aren't you suppose to be by the Cullens' by now?," Charlie shouted to Bella, who was upstairs getting ready.

"Yes, I know. I am coming," Bella responded back as she quickly swiped on a quick coat of lip gloss onto her lips. She took one last look in the mirror before heading out the door. After much trial and error, Bella had decided on a red sweater to accent the flush on her cheeks that she would get whenever she was around Edward and a favorite pair of jeans. Never before had she spent so much time getting ready just to go see him but with this year being their last in high school she wanted to make the most of every moment she had with him. Once satisfied with her reflection, she grabbed her keys and bolted out for her car.

Edward laid on his bed, starring at the ceiling and tossing the small black box from hand to hand. It was 6 o'clock and no sign of Bella. He was tempted to call her to see if she had forgotten but he knew that if she didn't show up it wouldn't be because it slipped her mind. Edward would not have been surprised if she didn't come over today after what happened last night. He was still kicking himself for what he said to her. "How could I have been that stupid," he thought, "Maybe it is a sign that we aren't meant to be together. Not anything more than friends, anyway." He let out a sigh, "Oh god, I don't know what to do". Just then he heard the doorbell ring and it was music to his ears. He threw the black box onto his nightstand and ran stairs. Edward opened the door.

"Hey, you. Long time no see, eh?", Bella said to him, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible. She had decided that she has going to play it cool, as if the end of their conversation last night never happened. She wasn't going to let what had happened stop her from at least attempting to show Edward how she really felt.

"Yeah. Well, um, you look so, uhh, so," Edward stumbled to find the right words to describe Bella. After two months away from her, seeing Bella now took his breath away. At that moment Edward wanted nothing more than to take her in his arms and kiss her.

"So what?" Bella asked innocently, cocking her head to the side.

"So different, but in a good way. Always in a good way," Edward replied in a tone that was almost seductive.

Bella was breathless for she was taken back by Edward's response. All she could manage in response was, "Oh", as she tucked as stray piece of hair behind her ear.

"Well, do you want to stand outside all day or are you going to come in?", Edward asked smiling brightly as he extended his hand out for hers.

"Sure let's go inside", Bella told him as she put her hand in his.

Once they were inside, Bella nearly tackled to the ground when Alice snuck up on her.

"Oh my god, Bella! I missed you. What's been going on?," Alice shouted as she gave Bella a big hug, forcing Edward to reluctantly let go of Bella's hand.

"I have been doing pretty well, but even better now that all of you guys are home," Bella replied, gazing past Alice to look at Edward.

"Aw thanks, Bella. Well I hate to leave so abruptly but I am meeting Rosalie at mall. We want to do some shopping before school starts up again. Maybe you can catch up with us later?'

"Thanks, but I think I will pass. Next time though, okay?" Bella wasn't sure but after she said this she thought she saw Edward smile.

"Alright, sounds good. Catch you guys later," Alice said before she was off.

After Alice was gone, Edward took a step closer towards Bella. "Now that she's gone, there is something I wanted to show you. Something I got for you", he told her.

"Oh Edward, you know I don't like it when you spend money on me," Bella said innocently.

"I know, I know. But I was away from you for two months, Bella. I had to get you something because I was, well, thinking about you," Edward said in a very intense tone.

"Okay", Bella replied, laughing lightly out of nervousness.

"Come with me," he told her as he led the way up the stairs.

Before they knew it they were in his room. Bella loved his room, everything from the black leather coach to his high tech stereo system. And of course, there was the bed. Bella felt her cheeks get hot as she pushed the thought out of her head.

"You okay?" Edward asked, obviously noticing her sudden flush.

"Yes, I am fine," Bella said as smoothly as she could.

"Well feel free to put on some music. Anything you wish", Edward told her.

With that, Bella put on both hers and Edward's favorite Debussy CD.

"Ah perfect!" Edward exclaimed, "And now for your gift," he said as he handed her the small black jewelry box.

"Oh Edward, what did you do?" Bella asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Just open it", Edward replied, showing off his crooked smile.

Bella couldn't help herself but smile back. She opened the box and gasped at what was inside. It was the most stunning piece of jewelry she had ever seen. A perfectly symmetrical snowflake hung from a delicate silver chain. The snowflake's clear and light blue crystals seemed to glisten just as brightly as freshly fallen snow.

"Edward! It is gorgeous. I love it!" Bella said with her eyes glowing with excitement as she threw her arms around him.

"I am glad you like," Edward said shyly as he hesitantly hugged Bella before quickly breaking the embrace for he was once again panicked with her so close. "I thought it would suit you", he continued. "You always complain that the snow in Forks is like the ends of cotton swabs and that the flakes should look more like this", Edward said, gesturing towards the necklace.

Bella laughed. "You are right. You know me all too well But this is much nicer than any snowflake". With her response, she was certain that she had seen Edward blush, not something he did too often.

"Here, let me put it on for you", Edward said as he took the box from her hand to take the necklace out. He positioned himself behind Bella as he lifted her hair up. He draped the necklace in front of her and clasped it shut from behind. He gently let her hair fall back into place. The sweet smell of her strawberry shampoo hit him hard. It was an irresistible smell that only drew him closer to her. He put his hands on her shoulders so he could turn her around to face him. He slowly and cautiously ran his hand down the thin chain, starting from one side of her neck, until he reached the snowflake in the middle. He let his fingers linger there for a moment, "Wow. It looked nice when I saw it in the jewelry store, but it looks amazingly more beautiful on you," Edward breathed.

Bella tried to steady her breath but she couldn't get enough oxygen. She had never felt him be so close to her before. If she were to move just an inch or two more towards him, she would be kissing him, a very tempting thought. His piercing green eyes that were staring into hers were like the green light telling her to go for it. But before she could even move, Edward had backed away and turned his back towards her, mumbling a barely audible, "sorry".

He hated himself. He wanted to tell her so much about how deeply in love with her he was but he couldn't do it. He was a coward and he knew it.

Bella sighed, overwhelmed yet again with disappointment. Why would he always lead her on, just to back out? She couldn't understand it. He was making his intentions toward her quite clear and she was towards him, or at least she had thought. But all she did know what was that she was getting frustrated. Why couldn't Edward see that she so desperately wanted to be with him? She began to feel the tears swell up in her eyes.

"Is it because I am not pretty enough, is that it?" she shouted at him, trying her best to maintain some composure over her temper.

'What? Bella, what are you talking about?" Edward demanded.

"Or is it because I am not smart enough or something else? What is it that is so wrong with me that you always do this?" Bella pushed.

Edward knew exactly what she was talking about and couldn't blame her for feeling as said did. All he could manage to say in return was, "I am sorry, Bella. Truly I am."

"So that's it? That is all you are going to say?" Bella was yelling now, tears streaming down her face.

"Don't cry, please", he said as calmly as he could, walking towards her.

"Don't touch me! I don't want you to touch me," she lashed out at him.

She could see the hurt in Edward's eyes when she told him to back off, but she didn't care. She was too angry to care at the moment. Just then, her cell phone rang. She answered it, "Hello?"

"Hey, Bella. Is this a bad time? You sound a little stressed" the voice on the other end asked. It was Jacob Black.

"No, it is fine. You couldn't have called at a better time actually. I could use the distraction," Bella told him, glaring at Edward.

"Oh thank god, because I need a big favor. My car broke down and I need someone to pick me up. I am about five miles away from you house, would you mind?" he asked her kindly.

"Not at all. I will be right there", Bella responded, calmer than before.

"Thanks, Bells. You are the best" Jacob told her before hanging up. He had called her Bells and her heart sank. Her thoughts reluctantly trailed back to Edward, who still stood with a pain-stricken look on his face, but she quickly pushed them aside. Even though it was only the first time Jacob ever called her Bells and while he probably didn't mean anything by it, Bella picked up on the conviction in his voice. Unlike Edward, Jacob had always said things in the way that he meant them. He was upfront and honest. That was what she liked about Jacob. And right now, he was exactly what Bella needed.

"I got to go", Bella said harshly as she headed down the stairs.

"Wait!" Edward shouted after her. "Where are you going?"

Bella sighed but didn't turn around to respond, she just keep walking as she answered, "Jake's car broke down. I am going to go pick him up."

"Since when are you friends with Jacob Black?" his obviously dislike for the guy was clear in his voice as he spun Bella around to face him.

Bella could feel the fury cover over her face. She was livid. Did he honestly expect her to wait around for him while he blows hot and cold until he could admit his feelings for her? "Since the summer. Why? Are you jealous, now? Huh?" she screamed at him.

Edward's jaw dropped, but she was right. He was jealous because he knew Jacob would have no problem going after her if she was what he wanted. Jacob could so easily do the one thing Edward couldn't find the courage to do.

"Here" Bella told him sharply as she put her hands behind her neck to take off the necklace. "You can have it back. I don't want it. I am tired this. If you don't have the guts to tell me how you really feel then I am putting an end to it before it even started", Bella said as she forcefully shoved the necklace into his hand. And with that, he watched in agony as Bella stormed off into her truck, blazing away. He looked down at the necklace in his hand, clutching it tightly as if it were the only way to keep whatever pieces he had left of his heart together.


	3. Chapter 3: Truths

Something More

Chapter 3: Truths

I would once again like to thank everyone who has read and reviewed my story. It means a lot to me and really encourages me to continue this story. Please continue to leave your thoughts and comments, I enjoy reading them. I apologize for taking longer than usual to update. This chapter is my longest one yet and I proofread it a lot to make it sound as good as possible. Also, just a quick reminder, Jacob is the same age as Bella, 17, and Edward's only sibling in this story is Alice. Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper are all just Edward's friends, they are not related.

Chapter 3: Truths

Edward just stood there, unable to move. He never felt like a bigger jerk in his life. What kind of guy lets the love of his life get away when she makes her intentions so clear?

"Hey, man! I didn't know you were back from Alaska already," a familiar voice shouted, pulling Edward from his thoughts.

Edward turned around to find his neighbor Emmett walking towards him. They had been good friends ever since the third grade when they were on the baseball team together.

"Yeah we just got back today. How have you been?", Edward asked him, trying his hardest to disguise his sadness as he put the necklace in his pocket.

"I have been doing well but dude, you don't look so good. What's got you so down?" Emmett questioned.

"Oh, Emmett, I screwed up. I lost her, man. I could have had her and I just let her leave" Edward told him, shaking his head.

"Huh? Who are you talking about?" Emmett asked in confusion.

"Bella. I…I…I'm love in love with her," Edward confessed, staring down at the ground in embarrassment.

"Oh I knew it! I knew you had the hots for her!", Emmett shouted in excitement for he had always suspected that there was something going on between them.

"Yeah, well don't get too excited. She doesn't want anything to do with me now because I am too much of a coward to tell her how I feel. Not that I could blame her for getting so angry, I mean she was throwing herself at me and I pushed her away. I am such an ass," Edward told him.

"You got to tell her then, Edward. Girls don't wait around forever."

"I know, but I don't know, I just can't. I really want to but ughhhh. I don't know. Maybe it is because I am scared of what will happen if it doesn't work out, you know? Like I would rather settle on just being friends with her than risk breaking her heart if it didn't work out between us."

"Okay, I'm going to try to help you out here but I got to tell you something first and well, you are probably going to get mad," Emmett said cautiously.

"Alright, what is it?" Edward asked, slightly confused.

"Well, sophomore year of high school I kind of had a crush on Alice", Emmett told Edward in a low voice, obviously embarrassed.

"You what? Emmett, she is my sister! What is wrong with you?" Edward shouted at him, throwing his hands in the air.

"I know, I know. But don't worry, I am over it now but back then, I was crazy about her. She was all I could think about and at night I would have these dreams about her …" Emmett continued before being cut off by Edward.

"Please spare me the details. I don't want to know," Edward told his putting his hand up to stop him from continuing. "What does this have to do with anything anyway? I thought you were trying to help me."

"I am, just let me finish. The point I was trying to make is that the reason why I never made a move on Alice was because I knew you would flip out." Emmett told him.

"Well obviously. She is my sister", Edward responded, rolling his eyes.

" Exactly. Guys aren't supposed to go out with their friend's sister, right? Same way best friends aren't supposed to be more than best friends, right?"

Edward nodded in agreement, "Yeah".

Emmett continued, "So what I am saying is that I never told Alice how I felt because I was afraid of how you would react because I would be, well, breaking the rules. And even though I truly am happy with Rosalie, as is Alice with Jasper, a part of me will always wonder what could have been between us. You can not let Bella get away just because you are afraid of what will happen in the future or what the consequences of it will be, Edward. Because in the end, you will end up hurting her more by pushing her away like you are now than if you were to tell her how you felt and have the relationship not work out later."

Emmett made a point. Edward had never seen Bella as mad as he did today. If he was to tell her how he felt and they were to try and have a relationship, would she be as mad if things didn't work out between them? Maybe that was all Bella really wanted, just for them for try and see if they could succeed at being more than just friends.

"I guess", Edward replied.

"Trust me on this one, okay? You will be kicking yourself forever if you don't do something. And besides, it would help if you weren't so negative about what might happen with Bella. You are assuming that things will end badly but have you ever thought that maybe you two are meant to be together? I have seen the way she looks at you, man, and from what I can see, she cares about you a lot more than you probably thinks she does," Emmett said.

That was when it finally sunk in for Edward. He had never considered before the fact that maybe everything would work out between them if him and Bella were to pursue their relationship. He was always so worried about how he would hurt her when their relationship failed. But Emmett was right, maybe it wouldn't fail. Maybe, just maybe, they were meant for each other.

"Thanks, dude", Edward said, more cheerful now having seen the bright side of things. "For once you actually gave me some useful advice", he joked.

Emmett laughed, "Hey, I do what I can. Glad I could help you. I will catch up with you later, alright? Let me know how things work out, okay?"

"Yeah, no problem. Thanks again", Edward told him.

Edward now felt that there was some hope. That is, if Bella would even listen to what he had to say. If not, he would just have to find a way to make her listen. She had to know how he felt about her. With that in mind, he got the keys for his signature silver Volvo, got in his car, and drove away.

If he made good timing, Edward would be able to get to Bella's house before she got back after dropping Jacob at La Push. That way, he could be there waiting for her. He planned out everything he was going to do while he drove. He would stand outside her house and as soon as she drove up into her driveway and got out of the car, he would be there to greet her. He would run to Bella, take her in his arms, and kiss her. Then he would tell her those three words that would change everything between them. But in a way that would be for the better because they were meant to be together, something he had finally convinced himself of.

He tried to remain as calm, cool, and collected as he could while cruising smoothly down the road, probably faster than he should have been going, towards the intersection. That was when the car came. Whoever was behind the wheel of the other car stopped painfully short dead smack in the middle of the intersection. Edward didn't even have time to slow down before he drove straight into the car and everything went black.

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Bella ran into her car from Edward's house as fast as she could, tears flowing from her eyes. Once inside, she drove away in a fury, even making the tires squeak. She wiped here eyes, smudging her makeup in the process. Bella was heartbroken and partly because of what she had told Edward. She regretted giving him back the necklace the moment she did so along with everything else that flew out of her mouth while her anger got the best of her. Only she could do now was hope that whatever damage she had caused between them could be healed and repaired.

Before she knew it she saw a tall, russet skinned boy with messy hair leaning against a Volkswagen Rabbit. It was Jake. Bella parked her car, blotting her eyes with a tissue before getting out.

"Hello, Jake", she said softly.

"Hey, Bella!" Jake replied in excitement as he walked closer towards her, taking notice of her red, swollen eyes, "Woah, what happened to you?"

"Nothing, it's nothing", she said while weakly shaking her head.

"Don't tell me 'nothing'. I am not stupid, Bella. You don't get so upset so easily. Now tell me honestly what happened," Jacob pushed.

Bella just looked down at the ground, shaking her head some more.

"It was Cullen wasn't it? What did he do to you, Bella?" Jacob said angrily.

"It wasn't his fault, really. Well not completely anyway. I came down on him pretty hard and just walked," Bella explained.

"But what did he say exactly that has you looking like you just watched an all day marathon of The Notebook?"

Bella barely laughed at this joked. She was too broken hearted. "It is more of what he didn't say that's the problem."

"Which is?" Jacob asked.

Bella sighed. "I know he loves me. And I don't mean like best friend kind of love but like the real thing sort of love. Yet despite everything I do, he won't tell me how he feels and it is just getting really frustrating" Bella told him as she sat down on the edge of the sidewalk next to the car, "Sometimes I wonder if it is even worth it. Maybe he can't admit that he loves me because maybe he really doesn't and I have just deluded myself into thinking that he does this whole time. That does even make sense?"

Jacob sat down next to her, "Yeah, I think I understand to an extent. But the real question is do you love him in that real thing sort of way?" His voice was low and serious.

Bella laughed but there was no humor in it, "Of course I do, Jake. Would I be wasting all this time and energy if I didn't?"

Jacob shrugged, "I guess not."

A few moments of awkward silence passed as Bella and Jacob sat on the curb.

"Bella?" Jacob said suddenly.

"Yeah?" Bella responded as she looked up at him.

"You know, if I were Edward, I would be going about this a whole different way," he told her in an almost humored tone, the edges of his mouth turning up into a slight smile.

Bella raised her eyebrows in surprise as she gave into her urge to let out a chuckle, "Oh really? What would you do? I would love to hear".

"Well it wouldn't require any hearing. What I would do, I mean", Jacob said while gazing into her soft brown eyes as he slowly moved in closer.

"What do you mean?," Bella replied, quite confused.

Suddenly, before Bella had time to realize what was about to happen, Jacob's lips were on hers. He kissed her ever so softly but enough to make her unable to think clearly for the time being. Getting caught up in the moment, Bella kissed him back and he willingly obliged. When the kiss broke off, they look at each other anxiously waiting for the other's reaction.

"I care deeply about you, Bella. Edward may not be man enough to admit it, but I am. If you want me, I am yours," Jacob confessed to her, taking her hand into his.

Bella stood up, releasing her hand grip his grip, and started to pace back and forth, "No, Jake, I can't do this, not now anyway. I am sorry, really", she told him flatly, not failing to notice how her words were so similar to the words that Edward had told her such a short time ago. It was those words that had hurt her so deeply that she was now using against Jacob. It killed her on the inside to repeat them but she didn't know what else to say or another way to put it.

Jacob slowly nodded his head, "You are right. I am sorry. Not sorry for feeling the way I do about you because there is nothing you could do to change that but I am sorry for telling you now. It was a bad time." He sighed, shaking his head some more. "I just made one hell of a day for you even worse. I apologize. So for now, I will drop it but in the future…" he said, trailing off.

"We'll see, Jake. But what I need right now is to just drop you off so I can get home. I got a real lot to think about. Okay?" she told him as she took out her keys and headed towards her truck.

"Okay, but I will drive," he said as he quickly snatched the keys out of Bella's hand. "You have been through more than enough for one day and part of it is my fault. So for once just let someone help you, in this case me, and allow me to drive." He flashed her an innocent smile.

Bella sighed and threw her hands up as though she was surrendering, walking around to the passenger's side, "Fine. But just this once and don't think you can go blazing down the road either. My truck can only take so much. Which reminds me, what are you going to do about your Rabbit?", pointing to Jacob's broken down Volkswagen.

"I called Embry before you got here and he will pick it up for me later. And don't worry about your truck either. I will take it easy," he told her as he got into the truck.

Once they were both buckled in, Jacob started up the car and headed for La Push. Bella closed her eyes to relax as they continued the rest of the car ride in silence. She was enjoying the peace and quiet until suddenly the truck stopped violently short; her eyes flew open in response.

"God, Jake. What the hell?" she shouted.

"Sorry, that moron nearly cut me off", Jacob responded in a frustrated tone, gesturing to some car that just passed them by.

Bella, now annoyed, just shook her head. That was when she saw something out of the corner of her eye. She didn't know how much time there was between when she saw the car coming at them and when it actually made contact. Although it was probably no more than a second at the most, it felt like time had frozen. All she could make out was a grey blur flying down the road at full speed. It wasn't going to stop and they weren't going to be able to get out of the way fast enough. The last thing she heard before the impact was one that was loud and piercing. Whether the sound she heard was her own scream or the screech of the other car's breaks she will never know. All Bella did know was that the last thing she saw was Edward.


	4. Chapter 4: The Aftermath

Chapter 4: The Aftermath

First I would once again like to thank everyone who has read and reviewed my story. I truly appreciate it and I honestly love reading the positive reviews I have been receiving. Please keep them coming, it encourages me to continue writing. I also want to apologize for my grammatical and spelling mistakes. I try to catch as many errors as I can but I am not the best proofreader by far lol. I try to update as quickly as possible. So far this has been the most challenging chapter to write since there were so many possible ways the story could have gone. I don't plan on ending this story anytime soon as long as people are willing to continue reading and I will continue to write. So please continue to review and happy reading.

Chapter 4: The Aftermath

Edward had no idea how long he had been unconscious for. Ten seconds? Ten minutes? An hour? He slowing opened his eyes, moaning in pain. His side ached; broken ribs, he figured. He tried to straighten himself up in the badly damaged car, pushing the inflated air bag out of his way. He heard the crunching sound of broken glass as he moved. When he looked up to see that the shards of glass had come from the shattered wind shield, his heart sank down into his stomach when he laid his eyes for the first time on the car he had hit. He felt as though he was going to be sick when he saw what was left of the all too familiar red truck in front of him. "Oh God, no. Please no. Not her, anyone but her", he pleaded in his mind as he struggled to free himself from the car.

Edward's badly cut up hands shook in panic as he tried to undo his seat belt. His entire body was in agony but he had to get out. His vision was blurred as he tightly held back the tears that were burning in his eyes. Edward was finally able to release himself from the constraints of his demolished car. But the damage his car had endured was nothing compared to Bella's truck. The truck that Bella had once considered to be indestructible had proved to be anything but. The whole front seat passenger's side door had been completely smashed in, along with some other damage.

Edward dragged himself over to the front passenger side, limping in pain, where his car had smashed through. He prayed that no one would be sitting there but he knew that, of course, someone was going to be there. Whether it was Bella or Jacob someone had been sitting there. Edward knew it was stupid and useless to think otherwise. As wrong as it was to think, he hoped with every fiber of his being that it was Jacob sitting there. Just the thought of Bella broken and shattered like the twisted metal and cracked glass she would be buried underneath was immensely too excruciating for him to imagine. However, once Edward looked inside the mangled remains of the car, it was an image he would no longer have to imagine because it was now right in right of him.

"No, please, no. No, not you, Bella. No", he shouted out, sobbing, as he saw the unconscious and injured Bella that laid before him. "Someone call 911! Right now!" Edward yelled at the terrified bystanders who were already on their cell phones dialing. He prayed that all of what was happening was just some kind of terrifying nightmare; that in any minute he would wake up in a panic but then realize that it was all just an awful dream. But Edward wasn't waking up. It wasn't a nightmare. It was something much worse. It was reality.

Somehow, he wasn't sure how, probably because he was fueled by adrenaline, Edward was able to pry to open Bella's door, or at least what was left of it. The sight that was in front of him was horrifyingly heartbreaking. It took a moment for him to fully absorb the extent of the damage he was responsible for. Bella was crouched up in an awkward position, cut up and bruised. Edward put his fingers to her pulse point on her neck to check to see if her heart beat was steady. To his horror, it was weak, deathly weak. Next to her was Jacob. He, too, was unconscious, but from what Edward could see from the quick glace he gave his way, Jacob's injuries were no where near as extensive as Bella's.

"Bella, you have to hang in there. Okay? An ambulance is on its way, just please don't give up. You can't leave me, okay?" he said in shaky voice in between broken cries to Bella, who laid there unresponsive. Edward put his hand on the back of her head so he could gently bring her close to kiss her forehead. That was when he felt something liquid and warm. He pulled his hand back only to see it covered in Bella's blood. "Oh my God, what have I done?" he whispered, trembling now in fear.

Just then, Edward heard blaring sirens as several ambulances drew closer. EMTs rushed out to help get Bella out of the car. Edward reluctantly backed off so they could do what they had to do. He knew they were the only people who could get her to where she could receive the proper care but he felt guilty leaving her side.

The EMTs strapped both Bella and Jacob onto stretchers and wheeled them into separate ambulances. Edward went to go into the ambulance that Bella had been put into but was stopped by another EMT before he could go in.

"I am sorry, but I can not let you go in there with her", the EMT told Edward.

Edward retorted in a harsh manner, yelling, "I am going in there with her whether you let me or not. Don't think that I am going to leave her side for one second after putting her there in the first place."

The EMT shook his head, "I understand that you are angry but I simply can not allow you in the ambulance with her. If you were family then that would be a different story but you are not. I am sorry. Now you can either argue with me over this and waste the precious time that could save her life or get in a separate ambulance and get yourself checked out as well."

Edward stood there silently for a moment before speaking, "Fine. But please, and I am begging you, make sure that she is okay. Just get her to the hospital quickly and safely."

"That is what we are here for," the EMT told Edward before walking away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The phone at the nurses' station in the ER rang once before it was routinely picked up.

"Nurse Johnson speaking", the nurse said coolly into phone.

As she listened intently to what the voice on the other end was saying, fear and worry fell upon her face.

"Yes, I will tell him. Thank you," Nurse Johnson said before hanging up.

Just then Dr. Carlisle Cullen walked by to pick up some medical charts.

"Good afternoon, Nurse Johnson," he told her while looking over a patient's charts.

"Doctor?" Nurse Johnson said urgently, her worry evident.

Carlisle looked up at her, "Yes, what is it? Everything all right?"

"I just received a phone call", she told him as calmly as she could, "that your son has been in a car accident."

Overwhelming panic flooded Carlisle. "Oh my god. Oh Edward. He is okay? Tell me everything you were told", he demanded.

"I am not sure. All that I was told was that he was involved in a car accident along with two other teenagers, another boy and a girl. The ambulances are on their way with all of them now."

Before Carlisle could respond, the hospital doors flew to allow the EMTs wheeling in the three stretchers to enter.

"Edward!" Carlisle shouted, running over towards his son.

Edward removed the oxygen mask the EMTs had put on him so he could talk more easily. "I am fine, Dad. Nothing more than some cuts and bruises, really, don't panic. But Bella…" Edward told his father in a shaky voice, not being able to find the words to finish what he was saying.

"Bella? What happened to Bella?" Carlisle questioned, not realizing that she had been involved in the accident.

Edward weakly pointed to the girl on the stretcher across the room.

"Oh my god. And Jacob too," Carlisle said, now noticing the victims in the other two stretchers.

"Dad, you have to do me a favor. Have some doctor, I don't care who, check me over as quickly as possible because they aren't going to release me from the hospital until they know I am fine and I have to be there for Bella. In the meantime, I need you to get the best doctors to treat her. Okay? You do whatever is necessary to make sure she gets everything she needs. If anything happens to her, it all going to be my fault and I can't live with that. I can't live without her. I need for her to be okay," Edward told his father hastily, not being able to get all his words out fast enough.

"Just calm down, Edward, "Carlisle told him. "I will get you to a room right away and the doctors will be taking Bella in to run some tests as soon as they have her stabilized. But first and foremost I need you to get looked over and get all your injuries treated for. Your my son, Edward. And don't worry about Bella, she will be just fine. She is in good hands."

Edward nodded but was still not convinced that Bella was going to be okay. Carlisle ordered a doctor to have him taken to an exam room as Edward glanced down to look at his hand, still covered in Bella's blood.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Two broken ribs, a bruised ankle, and eight stitches for a gash on my arm is all I walk away with and yet Bella is still in surgery. It's not fair, Mom. I should be the one in there on the operating table, not her. She doesn't deserve this," Edward told Esme, his voice low and depressed. They were both now in the waiting room, along with Alice, hoping to get some word on Bella's condition.

Esme sighed, rubbing her son's shoulder trying to comfort her son. "Nobody deserves this, dear. Not you, not Bella, no one. Just have hope. Think positive thoughts, Edward. You father made sure only the best doctors here were taking care of her. They are doing all they can for her. And you know Bella, she is a fighter. She is going to make it through this, just wait and see."

Edward simply nodded in response. Nothing anyone one told him was of any comfort to him anyway so there was no point in continuing any further discussion. He was still in shock of what had happened. Everything kept playing over and over again in his head. The truck stopping short. The panic. The crash. Waking up. The shattered glass. Looking up. Getting out of the car. Opening the door. Seeing Bella. Broken. Mangled. The blood. Too much blood. It was all too much to bear. The images flashing through his mind were too vivid. Too much detail. Too heartbreaking. Just too much. Edward buried his face in his hands as he sat in the chair waiting.

Charlie walked back from the nurses' station after asking them if they had any news on Bella's condition.

"Any word?" Esme asked in a concerned tone, causing Edward to look up.

Charlie shook his head and answered flatly, "No, nothing. They got Jacob's results back though. He got a minor concussion and some other cuts and bruises, nothing to worry too much about. The doctors want to keep him for overnight observation, though, just in case." Charlie sighed, leaning again the wall. He looked pale and expressionless. It was the first time Edward was seeing him at the hospital. Edward had been in the exam room when he had first arrived.

Edward got up from his chair and walked over to him. "Charlie, I am so . . ." Edward said to him, beginning to apologize, before Charlie put his hand up to stop him from continuing.

"No, Edward, I don't want to hear it. Please. Not now. Just pray that she makes it out of surgery because if she doesn't . . ." Charlie told him in an insensitive manner before trailing off. He continued after a moment, "Well let's just say I know who to blame."

Edward just stood there. He didn't know how to respond or how to react. All that Edward did know was that hearing this come from Charlie just made the terrible reality sink in even further. If anything was to happen to Bella, it was all on him. He had been the one driving the car. He had been the one speeding. Speeding. The thought of it made him remember why he had been driving so fast in the first place. Edward wanted to get to Bella's house before she did so he could be there to tell her that he loved her. And now, Bella was in surgery fighting for her life and the possibility of him never being able to tell her her so was very real. Too real.

Charlie walked away and began pacing back and forth. Edward was still standing there, speechless. Alice got up and walked over to him.

"He didn't mean it, Edward. It was not your fault. It was an accident." Alice told him in the attempt to comfort him.

"Yeah, sure," Edward mumbled in response, his voice lacking all emotion.

"And she is going to be okay, Edward. Don't give up on your faith in her," Alice said, giving him a hug.

Edward weakly hugged her back, trying to take in everything that was just said. Because regardless of whatever anyone told him, he knew Charlie was right. He was the one to blame. Even if Alice was right and Bella was fine once she recovered, how was he ever suppose to face her again? How could things just go back to the way they were before when he nearly killed her? They couldn't. Edward hadn't even given any thought as to what he would tell Bella when she woke up. What could he possibly tell her that would make up for the fact that he very well could have been the one responsible for her death?

Just then, a doctor wearing a white surgeon's coat came in through the doors in the waiting room.

"Mr. Swan?" the doctor said urgently.

Everyone was standing now, Charlie, Edward, Alice, and Esme, all waiting anxiously for some news on Bella's condition. "Just two words," Edward thought to himself, "Two words. 'She's okay.' That is all I need to hear, just those two words. Just tell me that she's okay and I will find a way to deal with everything else. Just please, let her be okay."

"Yes?" Charlie responded, his voice filled with worry and anticipation.

"I'm sorry", the doctor told him bleakly.

It was the wrong two words. Edward felt his blood run cold. His body went numb. Everything lost its importance, its value. Everything. Gone. Meaningless. Within that moment, Edward lost everything because of two words. The wrong two words.

XXXXXXXXXX

I know, I know, another cliffhanger lol I am sorry. I am working on the next chapter now so I hope to have it up in the next few days. Anything you are wondering about Bella's surgery, such as why she needed it in the first place, and so on will be explained then.


	5. Chapter 5: Impossible

Chapter 5: Dreaming

As of right now, this chapter was been my favorite one to write by far. I wrote it all in my head before even typing a word of it; therefore, I think it to be some of my better writing lol although I do apologize for any proofreading errors I missed. This chapter actually turned out to be so long that I decided to divide it into two chapters, this one and the next one. I already have part of the next chapter done so it should not be long before I it. Anyway, as always I would like to thank everyone who has read and reviewed my story. I look forward to reading the reactions to this chapter considering the last chapter's cliffhanger ending. I also ask that anyone who reads this story to please leave a review. It is your reviews that make me want to continue with this story.

Chapter 5: Impossible

The doctor cleared his throat before continuing, "Mr. Swan, I have some news to tell you that might be difficult for you to handle. As you already know, your daughter, Bella Swan, went in for surgery to repair what we had thought to be minimal brain damage. The X rays we took beforehand showed us that she was suffering from mild brain hemorrhaging. While such a condition can be critical and possibly fatal, the damage to Bella's brain did not seem to be beyond repair since she had been brought in to us so quickly. However, during the operation, it was discovered that her injuries were much more extensive that previously thought. With that being said, I am deeply sorry to tell you that your daughter has fallen into a coma."

Charlie's hand flew to cover his mouth in an attempt to hold back the flow of emotion that was about to rush out of him. "A coma?" Charlie asked, his voice disturbed by how uncomfortable he felt saying the word. "But how?"

"Well we were told that Bella's car was too old to have air bags inside so it is our assumption that she hit her head on the dashboard when the other car collided with hers. With enough force, such a blow to the head can cause severe brain trauma which can, in turn, result in a comatose state."

Tears slowly welled up in Charlie's eyes but he quickly wiped them away before they could surface. "Will she ever wake up or is it . . . permanent?" Charlie questioned, struggling to even speak the words that implied that his daughter may never wake up again.

"There is a great change that she will wake up, Mr. Swan. But there is no way of knowing when. People come out of these states on their own time. Some wake up in a few weeks, others after a couple of months. Nonetheless, I must warn you though, while I do see much hope in your daughter's future, you must know that nothing is guaranteed. There is always a slim possibility, no matter how small a chance it may be, that it your daughter may never wake from her coma," the doctor told him.

"But you do think she will wake up though, right? Even if it takes a while?" Charlie asked eagerly, trying to think positive.

The doctor responded, "Yes, I do. As of right now I see an optimistic outcome for Bella. More than anything, it is just a matter of time as we wait and see what happens. We will keep you up to date on any changes in her condition."

Charlie nodded for he was somewhat comforted by this considering the gravity of everything he had just been told. "What about her other injuries? How severe are they?"

"Her other wounds were moderate, yet no where near as serious as those suffered by her brain. She suffered from a laceration on the back of her head that required ten stitches to close, a fractured wrist, and a few other cuts and bruises, nothing she won't be able to recover from in a few weeks time ," the doctor answered.

"I see, doctor. Well, unless there is more for you to discuss with us, can we go see Bella now? I would really like to see my daughter" Charlie asked, trying not to sound too pushy.

"Of course, be my guest. I would also encourage you to visit her often so you can talk to her while she remains unconscious. Such interaction can, in some cases, help to stimulate brain activity and bring the patient back into consciousness. Now if you come with me, I will take you to Miss Swan's room"

"Thank you, doctor," Charlie said to him.

Charlie, Esme, and Alice all followed the doctor to Bella's room. All except for one. Edward. He was in shock. The words spoken by the doctor would not sink into his mind, but rather lingered at the surface where they laid fragmented and echoed. _I'm sorry . . . more extensive than previously thought . . . slipped into a coma . . . severe brain trauma . . . nothing is guaranteed . . . may not wake from her comatose state._

Edward could not understand how, of all people, something so tragic could happen to Bella. Of all the people on the road that day, of all the people he could have hit, why did she have to be the victim. Not that it happening to someone else would have made what he did right, but at least it would not have been Bella. Maybe if it was someone else, Edward would not feel as though he should be dead. He would of course be feeling guilty and remorseful, but he would not be wishing death upon himself. But all those "what ifs" were irrelevant because Bella's life was stuck in limbo; she was not dead but not exactly alive either.

Edward stood there and watched as his mother, sister, and Charlie as they went through the doors, down the halls, and made a right into Bella's room. Once they had all entered, Edward made the choice to go as well, despite the emotions that were at risk of pouring out of him by doing so. He slowly walked down the hall and stopped before coming to the entrance of her room so that no one would know he was there. Taking in a deep breath of air, Edward closed his eyes before peering in. He turned his head just enough to catch the slightest glimpse of his deepest fear.

The image that Edward's eyes locked on broke not his heart but his soul. He felt at that very moment that his soul was lost and had become lifeless, just as Bella was in her cataleptic state. There he saw her, lying on the bed, swollen, cut, and bruised. Her head, wrapped in gauze, slightly propped up on a pillow, and her wrist in a brace.

But what truly pushed Edward over the edge were the machines. Too many machines. Some monitoring her condition while others did the jobs Bella's own body were suppose to do but couldn't. She couldn't even breathe on her own; Bella needed a respirator. And the beeping noises, each a different pitch and tone. Heart rate. Brain activity. Oxygen intake. Everything had a different beep.

Edward wanted to be able to go inside the room and stay with her, to hold her hand for hours, days, or weeks on end until she woke up. Until their eyes could meet again, Edward wanted to remain by her side. All he had to do was take a few steps forward and sit down. But he didn't because he couldn't the strength within himself to do so. He couldn't because he feared that when Bella would wake up, if she ever even did, that he would see not passionate love in her eyes, but passionate hate for what he had done to her. So instead of facing his fear he ran. He ran from fear, from life, from love.

XXXXXXXXXX

By the time he got home, it was 1 o'clock in the morning. Edward had run from the hospital all the way back home. The house was empty and quiet since the rest of his family was still all at the hospital; his father at work and his mother and sister with Bella. His bruised ankle and ribs throbbed in terrible pain but he didn't care. If anything, he felt like he deserved every drop of pain that ached throughout his body. He went straight into his room and collapsed on his bed, breathing heavily. It was then that he realized the last time he was in his room was with Bella to give her the necklace he had gotten for her.

Edward went to reach in his pocket to retrieve it but there was nothing. Despite everything that had happened that day, he distinctly remembered putting it in his pocket after Bella had forced it into his hand and drove away. Maybe he lost it at the site of the accident? Or maybe it fell out his pocket at the hospital? Edward did not view any of those options to be possible for he would never lose something of such valuable importance to him. But yet he had, he had lost Bella. So, for the time being, not only was Bella gone, so was the necklace that was his connection to her.

It was all too much for one day. As guilty as he felt by doing so, Edward decided to try and sleep. He knew that sooner or later he would fall asleep whether he wanted to or not anyway. He couldn't help it; his mind, body, and whatever pieces he felt were left of us soul were exhausted. With that, Edward closed his eyes and fell into the abyss of unreality and endless possibilities that existed within the depths of his mind.

XXXXXXXXXX

Something was different. Even in his sleep, Edward felt something unusual. Whatever it was, it was enough to wake Edward from his slumber. He opened his eyes to look around his room. Everything appeared exactly the same but something was not right. He wasn't sure if the difference he believed he was experiencing was for the better or for the worse but something had changed. Edward couldn't find a way to describe it other than that he had entered an alternate dimension of some sort. Even to himself, the thought sounded absurd.

He got up from his bed and made his way down the hall. That was when Edward felt it. A presence. Someone was in the house.

"Mom? Dad?" Edward called out as he proceeded down the hall nearing the stairs. No one answered him. "Alice? Is anyone there?" Edward said, calling out once more. And yet again, there was no response. He assumed that his father was still at work and that his mother and sister were still visiting Bella in the hospital.

As he made his way down the stairs, he noticed that the light in his living room was turned on. Edward knew he hadn't turned it on when he got home before going up to his room. He hadn't even gone into any other room in his house besides his own. Edward had just reached the landing at the end of the staircase when something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye. Someone was sitting on the couch, a girl, with her back facing towards him. He knew who it was. Of course he knew who it was, without a doubt. But it was impossible.

Edward slowly walked to the girl, taking in the amazing sense of familiarity and comfort that filled him. Her sweet scent like that of strawberries overwhelmed him as he drew closer, but stopped an arms length away from her.

"Bella?" he said, his voice shaking as the name burned in the back of his throat.

The girl stood up and waited a moment before turning around. In that moment before he saw her face, Edward feared what he might see. Would she morph into the girl he had left broken and comatose in the hospital or would be Bells, his Bella, whom he had known all his life and would give anything to have back? When she turned around to face him, his question was answered. There before him stood the Bella he thought he would never see again. His Bella.

Edward could not recall her looking her so beautiful even though she was simply dressed in a blue tee shirt and jeans. Bella was looking up at him with her soft, innocent brown eyes. Her dark brown hair shone in the light with the slightest tint of red against her creamy, light skin. Her lips turned up in the sweetest of smiles. But it was all impossible. Bella couldn't be here, it couldn't be possible, but yet there she was standing right before him. Edward just stood there staring at her, not saying a word. He tried to make some sense of it, to rationalize everything that was happening, to come to a logical conclusion. But then he realized he was merely wasting his time trying to figure it out because none of that mattered. It didn't matter how any of it could be possible or why it was happening. All that mattered was that it was and that Bella was there with him.

As if she was reading his mind, Bella took a step closer to Edward so that they were no more than a few inches from one another. She reached out for his both of his hands and interlocked them with hers. Edward just smiled at her, still not being able to find the right words to say to her. Bella did not seem to mind the silence for she simply bit on her lower lip as her cheeks flushed crimson.

That did it for Edward. Seeing her cheeks light up like that, glowing a sheer rose, was enough to compel him to do something he should have been ages ago. Edward gently released one of his hands from Bella's light grip and placed it on her cheek. She gazed into his emerald eyes as he softly stroked her cheek with his thumb.

"Bella," he whispered to her, finding his voice again. "My dear, sweet Bella", correcting himself.

Bella spoke no words but her enthralling eyes said everything. She wanted him to continue, to keep going.

"I love you," Edward told her, his voice low and unintentionally seductive. He was surprisingly amazed at how naturally the words rolled off his tongue. The feeling that overcame him was intoxicating as he watched Bella beam with exhilaration before him. He could feel the bliss that was emitting from her as they stood in such close proximity.

Bella leaned closer so that her lips were brought right up to his ear. "I love you, too," she whispered to him before pulling back ever so slightly so that they could face each other again.

Edward's heart swelled with so much happiness that he thought for sure it would burst. And in that moment full of love and pure joy, he kissed her. Not a soft peck on the lips like other first kisses but one full of true love and all that is magic. While it was only their first kiss, Edward kissed Bella as though he was doing it for the last time because for all he knew, it could be. Bella wrapped her arms around his neck, running her fingers through his bronze hair, to pull him closer to her. They kissed for what seemed like to be eternity before they both broke off. Edward brought his lips to her forehead and kissed her lightly.

"I love you", he repeated to Bella, whispering it over and over again as if it were essential to his very existence while running his lips across her jaw.

Bella smiled with sheer delight, her expression playful. "If you love me, then come with me," she said to him coolly.

"Anywhere," Edward told Bella, "I will go anywhere with you, wherever you want."

Bella once again took hold of Edward's hands before speaking to him, "I need you to hold on tight and to close your eyes."

Edward nodded and did as he was told.

"And no peeking," Bella teased, letting out a small giggle. Edward couldn't help but laugh with her. The sound of Bella's laughter was music to his ears. He would listen to it all day if he could.

Even with his eyes closed, Edward could feel Bella move closer to him. She gently pressed her lips against his for one short second. In that second, Edward saw a piercing bright light flash through his closed eyelids. The light was so strong that it probably would have blinded him if he had opened his eyes.

He thought he was going to have to ask where they were. Edward was expecting Bella to take them someplace unexpected where they could enjoy whatever time they had together by talking, by laughing, by just being with each other. But then suddenly, all such thoughts were roughly shoved aside. Asking Bella about their new location would no longer be necessary because as soon as their lips parted he knew exactly where they were. The beeping noises he heard confirmed it.


	6. Chapter 6: Dreaming

Chapter 6:

First off, I would like to apologize for taking so long to update. The delay was a result of terrible writer's block and a very busy schedule the past few days. Therefore, I do not feel as though this chapter is some of best writing. I am actually quite disappointed in it. I am sorry if I missed away errors when I proofread. Anyway, in reference to the last chapter, there is a typo in the very first line. I forgot to change the chapter title from "Chapter 5: Dreaming" to "Chapter 5: Impossible". I just wanted to clear that up because that was the original name of chapter 5 before I decided to split it into chapter 5 and chapter 6. So to avoid any confusion the proper chapter name for chapter 5 is Impossible. The title of this chapter, however, is indeed "Chapter 6: Dreaming". And lastly, and want to thank everyone who has read and reviewed by story. Please continue to do so. I love reading all of your reviews )

Chapter 6: Dreaming

Bella brought her lips to his ear to whisper again in her sweet voice, "You can open your eyes now."

Edward refused, shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut even tighter. They were no longer standing in Edward's living room but sitting in Bella's hospital room. The only things Edward was aware of were Bella's voice, the beeping noises, and what he knew he would see when he opened his eyes.

"It's okay. Don't be afraid. I am here with you," Bella said, trying to comfort him with her mellow tone as she took his hands into hers.

Using every last drop of strength Edward had in his body, he forced himself to open his eyes. Just as he had feared, a comatose Bella laid before him. Yet sitting next to him still remained his Bella. Edward was only able to endure one small glimpse of what Bella brought him here to see before looking down to stare at the floor. He was expecting Bella to tell him to look, to see the damage he had caused, but she didn't. Instead she just spoke to him like she always used too. However, unlike other times, the subject matter Bella spoke of made him uneasy.

"People say that the eyes are the windows to the soul," Bella began, staring off into the distance. "But what happens when you can't look into someone's eyes? Is it like the window shades are just pulled down for the time being or is the person's soul simply not there?" She sighed before continuing. "That was something I would occasionally wonder. I never gave it much thought because well, it is one of those things you can never actually find an answer to."

Bella paused for a moment, causing Edward to look up at her to see if she was okay. Her expression was contemplative, almost distracted.

She looked at her comatose self before continuing, "But now I know. I know what happens," nodding to herself.

They both sat in silence for a few minutes before Edward spoke to break the quietness between them. "So, what happens?" he asked Bella, his voice low for part of him was afraid to here the answer.

Bella smiled at him. "It is actually much more obviously than one would think. What do you think happens?"

Edward shrugged, "I don't know."

Bella let out a light laugh before responding, "What happens is the same thing that happens when you sleep. Your mind wonders and drifts."

Still unable to fully comprehend what Bella was telling him, he asked her, "So you are a ghost?" His question frightened him because it suggested that Bella was dead.

Bella let out another chuckle, "No, silly. I would have to be dead to be a ghost." Edward just started at her, not finding any humor in the subject. Bella took notice of the seriousness in Edward's face and stopped laughing. "I am sorry," she told him, "that wasn't funny." Bella shook her head. "Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe I should go."

Bella rose up out of her seat but Edward stood up to put his hands on her shoulders to stop her from going anywhere. "No, please," he pleaded with her, "Don't go. Not yet. I want to hear what you have to say. Truly I do. This is all just, well, hard for me." Edward stopped for a moment to collect his thoughts before continuing, "Seeing you there just lying there, Bella, it kills me. You have no idea."

She gave him a quick smile before giving him a soft kiss on his cheek. "Okay, I will stay," she told him as she sat back down. Edward looked at her, confused yet again, as he went back into his chair. He was surprised she hadn't made a comment about him mentioning his guilt. Bella had always been one to pick up such inflects and sentiment and question him about them. Rather than trying to figure it out, he decided to just let it go as he had when he first saw Bella sitting on his living room couch. Edward already knew that whatever was happening was beyond any kind of logic so it was pointless to start to rationalize anything now.

"Alright, I will try to explain this differently so it makes sense to you," Bella began again. "Maybe soul is the wrong word for what I am trying to tell you since I am not dead; therefore, I am not a ghost. Maybe subconscious would be a better word. Yes, subconscious, that describes it better."

"So what you are saying is that your subconscious allows you to be here with me?" Edward asked, devoting his full attention to Bella in order to encourage her to continue.

"Yes, exactly. You see, your subconscious can take you anywhere. As long as you are dreaming, whether it is because you are sleeping or are, as in my case, unconscious in a coma, your mind has the ability to make the impossible a reality. Do you follow so far?"

Edward nodded. "Yes, I believe so."

Bella smiled, "Well in some situations when two people are sleeping their dreams sort of, well, overlap, for the lack of a better description. As a result, the dream manifests itself into something, such as this, that feel incredibly realistic. Amazing huh?"

Taken back and surprised by what Bella just told him, Edward responded, "Amazing?" he asked, sounding as though he had the wind knocked of him. "What is so amazing about the fact that I am going to just wake up to see that all of this didn't actually happen but yet you will still be in that bed," he lashed out, gesturing towards the comatose Bella.

The smile instantly washed off of Bella's face, "I am sorry, Edward. I didn't plan on for this to be happening as it is now. It just, well, happened" she told him. "But you couldn't have honestly expected anything else, did you? I mean, all this is clearly impossible and you were always one for finding a logical reasoning for everything."

Edward couldn't answer her, he just merely shrugged. Of course he had known that the entire situation was impractical and that it couldn't possibly be happening but he somehow pushed all those thoughts out of his mind. But all the pieces of the puzzle now fell into the place. He had wanted Bella to be healthy and with him so badly that he deluded himself into thinking that he impossible was truly a reality. But yet, it was all nothing more than a dream.

Bella looked at Edward, her voice was concerned, "Edward, are you okay?"

He turned his head away, not having the strength to look at her when he spoke, "So that's it then? When I wake up all this is going to be over? Well not everything will be over because the worst part of it will still be real. You will still be just lying there lifeless and all because of me, of course." Edward's voice was harsh but not because he wanted to hurt Bella's feelings but rather the opposite. He couldn't imagine how much pain he would be in when he woke up to the feeling of losing her a second time.

Bella bit down on her lip in an attempt to hold back her tears, staring at the ground, and nodded, "Yes," she mumbled in a barely audible whisper. Then tears began flowing as she sobbed, trying to wipe them away as quickly as she could.

Edward wrapped Bella up in his arms and spoke to her in his most comforting voice, "I didn't mean for any of that to hurt you. I am sorry. It is just I wanted this I be real. I . . ."

Bella didn't let him finish before cutting him off, "No, Edward, you don't have to explain. I am not upset and what you said, I understand." She paused a moment to find the strength to continue. "It is just that I don't want to leave you." More tears flowed down Bella's cheeks as she tried to speak without her voice cracking from her overwhelming sadness. "I want this to be happening just as badly as you do, Edward. I want to stay here with you so much that I can't even begin to tell you. I will never want to leave you, never."

Edward put his hands on Bella's face to wipe away her tears, "The same goes for me, Bella. You are the most important thing to me. And I know I can't always find the right words to tell you so, but you are and always will be. Always and forever. Not matter what. You got that? I love you, Bella, more than anything. And I am sorry that it has taken me this long to say it but it doesn't change the fact that it is how I feel about you."

"You really mean that?" Bella asked him, her voice still low as she slowly began to regroup herself after crying.

"You know I do. With all my heart," Edward told her, flashing her his sweet crooked smile. And then, he kissed her, catching her slightly off guard but she gave in nonetheless. When they broke off their kiss, Edward wrapped up Bella in his arms once again.

Her whispered in her as he looked at the comatose Bella, "I am so sorry, for doing this to you, Bella, so sorry, for the accident, for everything. I know this is a lot to ask of you, but do you think that you could ever forgive me?" His voice gave away the nervousness his felt in asking her such a question but it also contained the lightest touch of hope.

Bella looked away from him as if it were a reflex to the question. She sighed, looking down once again at her comatose self before answering him. "It is not that simple, Edward."

Edward seemed perplexed by Bella's response since it was not at all what he was expected. "What do you mean?" he stammered.

"It is not up to me. I am merely Bella's subconscious". She still couldn't find it in her to look at him. "I can't make a conscious decision," Bella told him, her voice carefully guarded. She was hiding a dark truth, one that would break Edward's heart if she told him. There was no way she could tell him what she knew was going to happen even though it was only a matter of time before he found out. It was something that never crossed Edward's mind and probably never considered as a possible outcome.

The caution and defense in Bella's voice did not go unnoticed by Edward. "Ah, I see, but there is more. I can tell. There is something you are not telling me."

She knew she couldn't give into Edward's pleas. Telling him the truth was out of the question that was for sure. It was too much of a curve ball to throw him now everything has been through. He would just have to find out later rather than sooner. "Yes, you're right. But for right now, it is for the best. Please try to understand."

Edward just shook his head. He wanted to know whatever it was she had to saw, no matter how much it would hurt him. He had no idea how long it would be before he ever got to speak to Bella again, whether it was her subconscious or conscious self. "Bella, don't do this. Please just tell me whatever it is. Don't start keeping secrets from me now."

Bella sighed. She felt as though she should somehow prepare him for what was to come so Bella turned around to face Edward, taking his hands into hers. "I can't, Edward. But I will tell you this and I know its going to hurt you to hear it but its all that I can give you." She gulped as she prepared to deliver only a touch of the news that would break whatever was left of Edward's heart. The rest he would see for himself in time. Bella spoke softly in her most compassionate voice to try to lessen the blow, "Let's just say that things are going to get much worse before they get better." She ducked her head in sorrow, tears burning in her eyes once more.

"Worse?" Edward said in shock, "How can things possibly get worse? I put you in a coma, Bella," his tone remorseful. Then panic set in as he realized things how easily things could get worse. All the possible scenarios quickly jogged through Edward's mind. Bella may never forgive him. Bella may never wake up from her coma. Bella may die. Edward tried to gain some control over his thoughts for he didn't want them to get the best of him.

Bella took Edward's face in her hands before speaking; the strength in her voice surprised her, "Listen, regardless of what happens I need you to stop blaming yourself for what was happened because no matter what I will never stop loving you. No matter how impossible that may seem to you, I swear to you that I never will. Even if it I don't seem to know it myself, it will always be true."

Edward was taken back the raw honesty he felt behind Bella's words. In just the past few minutes, they had both verbally declared their undying love for one another; something he never thought would happen. Either because they would have been too scared to admit their feelings for one another or they worried that other would not feel the same. But all that was now irreverent because all emotions were now out on the table, exposed for all to see. Edward couldn't figure out what Bella was trying to allude to while dodging his question but decided not to push his luck any further. He felt that it was best to just enjoy the time he had left with Bella rather than drill her with questions she wasn't willing to answer for whatever her reason was.

He gently caressed her cheek before simply answering, "Okay, if that is what makes you happy then that's what I will do." Edward gently kissed Bella softly on her lips. "And I will always love you as well", he whisper to her.

Bella smiled, "Good," she replied cheerfully. "Anyway, it is getting late and I want to make one more stop so I will wait outside while you say your goodbyes". She gently squeezed Edward's arm before getting up out of her seat to go out in the hall.

At first, Edward was not quite sure of what Bella had meant when she told him to say his goodbyes. But once she left the room, his attention reverted back to the comatose Bella lying on the bed, as well as the monotonous beeping noises. While Edward had been so caught up with the physical embodiment of Bella's subconscious that he had almost forgotten where he was. Almost, but not quite. He could never truly forget. How could he? Edward took the unconscious Bella's hand into his, lightly kissed it, and brought it up to this cheek before speaking.

"Well, um, I know you can't hear me or at least I think you can't, but either way I am here." Edward struggled to get the words out, each syllable burning in the back of his throat, as he barely even knew what to say in the first place. It was all just so overwhelming to him and rather painful knowing that he was to blame for all of it. "I know that this is my fault. You being here like this, I mean. But I am going to try to stop being so hard on myself because that is supposedly what you want."

Edward stopped yet again. He felt as though a wave of saddened emotions were going to pour out of him. Instead of giving in, he took a deep breath and somehow pulled himself together. Nonetheless, his voice was low and raspy for the piercing guilt he felt coursed through his veins as he continued. "I am going to come here everyday, Bella. Everyday I will sit by this bedside. No matter how much it may hurt me or how guilty I feel, I will be here because I know that's what is best for you. Or at least I hope it is. Anyway, what I am trying to say is that I am not giving up on you, Bella."

Edward gently placed Bella's hand back next to her side, got up for his chair, and lightly got her a peck on her forehead. "I love you, my Bella," he told her before leaving to go out in the hallway.

Once outside the hospital room, he saw the perfectly well Bella waiting outside for him. Without saying anything to him, she quickly walked up to Edward and hugged him, burying her face between his neck and shoulder. Bella brought her lips up to Edward's ear and whispered, "You did, Edward. I am proud of you." Her voice was warm, but yet strained as a result of the past few minutes mixed emotions.

Edward hugged her tight and then gently pulled her away so he could see her face. "I did it for you," he said to her, looking Bella straight in her eyes. "Everything I do from now on is going to be for you. I am going to sit next to you in that room everyday until you can smile at me again like you are now. I am not giving up on you, Isabella Swan."

This time Bella caught Edward off guard by kissing him as she steadily held his face in her hands. She broke it off quickly, "Thank you. That is all I want," she told him, smiling. Edward replied with his signature crooked smile as he wrapped his arms around Bella's waist.

"Where next? You mentioned one more stop" he questioned.

"It is a surprise and I think you will like this one," Bella replied innocently, her eyes gleaming with possibility.

Edward pulled Bella closer to him, "I wish we could stay like this forever," he said in his mild tone.

"Me too, but I am not leaving you just yet", she told him optimistically as she smiled brightly. "We still have a little more time."

"But not enough," Edward replied, his voice low and dejected.

Bella sighed, not knowing what to say to help make him see the brighter side of things. Instead she took hold of both of his hands, interlocking them with hers, as she had earlier. "Close your eyes and don't open your eyes until I tell you." She felt guilty since her tone was not as friendly as it had been the rest of the time she had been with Edward, but she couldn't help feeling a little annoyed. Bella was trying to make the most of the time they had together but Edward kept focusing on the negative.

Before closing his eyes, Edward caught a glimpse of Bella's expression. He was instantly able to recognize the frustration in her eyes. He knew her all too well. It then sunk it that Bella was aggravated because of his pessimistic attitude. For as long as they were friends, their opposing ways of looking at things was a common source of their troubles between them. Edward was disappointed in himself for acting so depressingly when he should be enjoying the moment as he had said he would. Therefore, he chose to lighten up the moment. He jokingly peeked to look at Bella, smiling cheerfully so she would see his sudden mood change.

Bella laughed Edward's favorite laugh, both smiling at one another. "I told you no peeking," Bella said to him lightheartedly. "Now let's try again, close your eyes."

This time Edward did as he was told and held his eyelids down tight. Before he knew it, Bella's lips were on his and he felt the burn of the bright light behind his closed eyelids. He felt a sense of déjà vu when Bella brought her mouth close to his ear and whispered, "You can open your eyes now."

Unlike when he had been taken to Bella's hospital room the last time they traveled together, Edward could hear no indication as to where they were before opening his eyes. Upon doing so, he was greeted by what was to him, the most mundane places of all for Bella to take him. His room.

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For all those who feel that this whole Bella/Edward in dreamland thing is running thin, I apologize. I feel the same way; I had not planned on making it run this long but it is necessary for later parts in the sorry. But no need to worry, Chapter 7 will be the end of the whole dreamland scenario and the story will return to real-time events in Chapter 8. Also, I apologize about the slight cliffhanger with Bella having the secret that she won't tell Edward. That will be revealed in the upcoming chapters. So with that, please leave reviews with your comments and criticisms.


	7. Chapter 7: Lost and Found

Chapter 7:

Thank you for all your support on the previous chapter. I was very glad to see so much positive feedback on it after having such difficulty writing it. Anyways, I finished this chapter much faster than I expected and am quite happy with the way it turned out. I hope you are to lol. I am currently working on the next chapter. Please continue to leave reviews, I love reading them all. I also recently realized that I had accidentally disabled the anonymous reviews feature. I apologize for this. I have now enabled this feature so anyone who wants to leave anonymous reviews can now do so. Happy reading!

Chapter 7: Lost and Found

Both Bella and Edward were now standing in Edward's bedroom. Edward wasn't exactly disappointed that it was where Bella decided to take them because as long as he was with her he couldn't complain but it did feel slightly anticlimactic. Yet at the same time, it didn't surprise him because that was the way it always was with Bella. They would usually just hang out at each other's house or with Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie. So when Edward thought about, he couldn't have asked for anything better because Bella was just being Bella, the girl he loved. The simple and sweet Bella with whom Edward has been best friends with his whole left and now had become something much more, even if it was only for this little while. Edward didn't want to think how they would stand in the future when Bella was fully awake and conscious.

"So, what do you think?" Bella said proudly, smiling. She had her arms extended outwards as if she was about to give a grand tour of his room.

Edward let out a light chuckle. "I must say, pretty impressive. Who knew I was such a good interior designer?" he joked.

They both stood silently for a moment, staring at each other, before bursting out into hysterical laughter. For them, it was just like old times, but only better because they both finally confessed how they felt about one another. It was like the wall between them, the wall that was holding them back, had been lifted.

"I don't know if I would go that far," Bella told him in a sarcastic tone, still happily smiling, "but I will admit that any teenager would kill for your stereo system. It is amazing." She was going through one of Edward's many racks of CDs, organized alphabetically and by date, trying to find the perfect one to put into his CD player.

Edward let out another small laugh, "I can't complain." He slowly walked up behind Bella and wrapped his arms around her waist. "But do you know what is even more amazing?" he seductively whispered in her ear.

Bella tilted her head upwards slightly so she could see some of Edward's face without breaking the embrace. "What?" she asked innocently, gazing into his alluring green eyes.

Edward's lips turned up into a sweet smile, "You." His voice was slightly shaky with nervousness because he was still getting used to being so open about their feelings for one another despite the fact that they only had some much time left together.

Bella simply replied, "I love you," before kissing him fully on the lips. After breaking off the kiss, leaving them both breathless, she turned around so she could face Edward. While interlocking their hands together Bella asked, "So what kind of music are you in the mood for?" her voice cool and relaxed.

"I am not really in the mood for music," he breathed. "I don't want any distractions from you." He released his grip on one of Bella's hands so he could tuck a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. He let his hand linger on her cheek as he watched her flush a soft crimson.

Bella sighed. It broke her heart to see that it has taken so much for Edward to finally show such affection for her. And now, it was going to be too late because once he woke up, they may never get the chance to experience their romance ever again. "Your right. No distractions," she agreed.

Smiling his stunning crooked smiled, "Good," he told her. He cupped her face in his hands and kissed her once more. Edward was amazed by how easily he found himself addicted to her. Amazed but not surprised for in his heart he always knew it would be this way. All he had to do was tell her how he felt and then everything else would just all into place. And it had, but the clock was ticking as their time together was dwindling down.

"I am going to miss this," Bella told him somberly.

"Now who is being pessimistic?" Edward teased even though he couldn't agree with her more. Bella gave him a small smile. He continued, "Please, let's not think about the future. You are with me and right now that is all that I care about."

Bella was being to feel uneasy. She didn't think that they would get so close so fast. While she was expecting their relationship to change drastically, she couldn't believe how easily Edward gave into his emotions after fighting with himself for so long. Not that she minded in the slightest, after all it was what she wanted, but Bella knew that it was only going to cause more pain for Edward when he woke up. This time that they were now spending together would soon be nothing more than just a dream.

Edward looked at her, his eyes glowing with hope. How could she push him away now in the attempts of trying to spare him anymore pain? She couldn't because quite frankly, she knew that it would only hurt him even more. What was done was done and nothing could be changed now. She leaned in close to Edward so that both of their foreheads were touching as they just stared into each other's eyes as though each was trying to read the mind of the other. Bella then gave him a sweet kiss on the lips to confirm that she felt the same about only caring about the fact they were together at this very moment.

As she pulled back from the kiss, Bella noticed a small black jewelry box on Edward's dresser. She instantly recognized it as the one in which the snowflake necklace Edward had gotten for her came in. Pangs of guilt coursed through Bella's body and her mind flashed back to when she had stormed off, taking off the necklace and forced into his hand. It was then she remembered her last words to Edward before she drove off, before their cars collided, before she slipped into a coma. _Here. You can have it back. I don't want it. I am tired this. If you don't have the guts to tell me how you really feel then I am putting an end to it before it even started. _

Bella winced in response to her painful memory. She was appalled at herself, unable to comprehend why she had ever done such thing knowing that she was practically ripping out Edward's heart with her own bare hands in doing so. Edward did not fail to detect her sudden discomfort for Bella's wounded expression gave her away.

"Bells, what's wrong?" he asked, his voice saturated with pure and heartfelt concern. "Why do you look so sad?"

Bella sighed, giving him a small fake smile. Edward, of course, didn't buy it. He just looked at her waiting for a response, as the worry in his eyes deepened. Bella shook her head as she started to talk, speaking much too fast that Edward had to listen very closely to catch everything she was saying. The sudden overwhelming gush of guilt forced her to quickly spew out her thoughts. "I am so sorry, Edward, for what I said to you. I really didn't mean it, truly I didn't. I was just mad, but that is no excuse for me hurting you like you did. And if I would knew that those words were going to be the last I might ever say to you, I would have never said them to you. Never. You have to know that, Edward, right? Oh and then giving you back the necklace. I never should have done that. I regretted the moment . . ."

She was nearly out of breath by the time Edward brought his pointer finger up to Bella's lips signaling her to stop talking. Bella obeyed as she took in more oxygen, gasping. Edward waited a short moment before speaking. He slowly took in everything she had just told him before the light bulb in his head went off. Bella had been apologizing for telling him that she didn't want to be with him because she was tired of waiting around, her last words to him while conscious.

He looked intently at Bella, gazing deep into her eyes, unintentionally calming her down. Bella felt oddly stabilized by the way Edward's eyes zoomed in on hers. "You are the last person who should be apologizing for anything," he told Bella. "It was my fault, Bella. I should have just came out and told you how I felt. After all, I probably was not so subtle when I tried to, well, flirt with you." Edward couldn't help but laugh at himself for he could only imagine how lame he sounded. But yet as always, Bella was listening to every word that came out of his mouth as if doing so would unlock all of life's mysteries. She was very much interested in what Edward had to say but even more say, Bella was intrigued by how he spoke. She always felt drawn to the velvety sound of his voice.

Bella smiled at Edward. He never let her blame herself for anything. Edward would always somehow make it his fault. Not that Bella liked the fact that he was always blaming himself but she appreciated the effort he was making towards her. "So where is it?" she asked him. Her grin became slightly bigger, almost sneaky.

Edward looked at her, his eyes confused. "Where is what?"

Gesturing towards the small black jewelry box on his dresser, Bella replied, "The necklace. You know the one you gave me with the snowflake that I gave back to you."

Edward's expression suddenly became uneasy, his voice panicky. "Oh, well, um, Bella, you see, I um."

"You what?" Bella's tone was sweet and innocent.

Edward sighed as he stared down at the floor, not having the courage to look at her. "I lost it. I can't find it. I know I put it in my pocket after you gave it back to me. I am certain of that. But then I got home from the hospital, it was gone."

"Ah, I see." To Edward's surprise, rather than being mad, Bella was still smirking as though she was trying to hold back a laugh from some private joke he was not in on. It took a moment for Edward to realize what Bella was up to before it clicked.

"You know where it is, don't you?" The corners of his lips turned up, beaming at the bright new possibility that had just dawned on him.

Without saying a word, Bella reached into the pocket of her jeans and gently pulled out a thin silver chain from which a shimmering snowflake constellation of blue and white crystals hung. She reached out for Edward's hand, palm side up, and transferred the necklace to him. Bella spoke softly while doing so, "You know me all to well, Edward, even in your dreams." She giggled at her own joke and was instantly joined by Edward.

"How?" was all Edward asked her.

"The 'how' isn't important, just the fact that it was found matters. Besides, everything that is lost is always found. Always." She was stressing the word but it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself that what she was saying was true. "That is, if you have faith." Bella's voice was subtle yet very serious.

"I suppose your right," he answered lightly.

They stood there for the next few moments in silence. Edward clutched the necklace in one hand and held Bella's hand in the other as she stared off into the distance. Then she suddenly broke up the stillness between them with an upfront request although it sounded more like a demand.

"Kiss me", Bella said sternly to Edward, still gazing beyond him.

Edward didn't react right away. Something about the way Bella was just staring off into space, making no eye contact with him made him uncomfortable. Bella quickly took notice of his distress and pulled herself away from her thoughts to look Edward straight in his glimmering emerald eyes. "Please," a hint of pleading in her tone.

As he dazzlingly smiled at her, happy she had snapped back from wherever her mind just was, Edward released Bella's hand from his. He took his one free hand, while the other still held the necklace, and brought it up to her face so he could gently cup her chin.

"Anything, my love," he whispered to her. He then placed his lips onto Bella's. Edward felt that the intensity in this kiss was much more potent than the others they have shared in their short time together. It was intoxicating for Edward as Bella placed both her hands on Edward's face, one on either side, to bring him as close as possible to her. After what seemed like eternity, yet not long enough, Bella pulled back ever so slightly. Edward's eyes were still closed as she spoke, "I love you."

And then she was gone. The same piercing white light glowed behind Edward's closed eyelids. He felt as though he was falling backwards, unable to catch his balance, but his mind didn't feel connected to his body. It was as though they were suddenly two separate entities and that his psyche was trying to catch up with his body. Then in an instant, they collided back together.

Edward's eyes flew open in alarm and he was gasping for air. He was lying on his bed in the same spot he had landed when he collapsed from exhaustion after running home from the hospital. His mind was racing, thoughts of every kind flashing in the depths of his brain. Edward struggled to make sense of the newest memories that had just been created. He found himself incapable of coming to a conclusion that was, by any sense of the means, logical. That was, until, he sat up in his head, trying to take everything in. Edward was holding something, an object that had not been there before he fell asleep. He looked down at his hand. Before even opening his fist, Edward knew in his heart what would be there. His heart was right. Edward was still holding the glistening snowflake necklace.

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As I said last time, the dream sequence ended in this chapter and the story will return to real time next chapter. So that means other characters will come back into play. And for any Jacob fans, he will be returning as well. I am, however, thrilled that people truly enjoyed the whole dream sequence between Edward and Bella and didn't feel as though it had been dragged out. Thanks. Anyway, please review and stay tuned to see what happens next.


	8. Chapter 8: Family

Chapter 8: Family

I first off like to apologize for taking well over a month to update. I am so sorry. The past month was just been very hectic. I had finals and end of the year projects. I was also sick for a good two weeks and recently went on vacation for a few days. But regardless, I do apologize for taking so long but I did brain storm some really great ideas to use in upcoming chapters. It is going to get really good lol. This chapter is so far the longest one I have written yet but I felt the story needed this chapter to show the relationships between Edward and his family. I did have some writer's block here and there since it is so different from previous chapters but I think it came out okay. So I do hope to have the next chapter up soon so please read this one and I hope you enjoy it. Oh and don't forget to review! I always appreciate all the reviews I receive. Thank you all so much for always writing them!

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Edward just sat there for a moment, trying to catch his breath. Everything that he remembered felt all too real to be a dream. Yet, he had nothing to deny the fact that it wasn't a dream. Before his mind could wonder any further, he was pulled from his thoughts by the sound of someone knocking on his door.

Before responding, Edward quickly hid the necklace underneath his pillow. "What?" his voice was sharper than intended. He wanted to be alone with his newly created memories of Bella.

A familiar melodic answered back, "Hey, Edward, it's me. Can I come in?"

Edward sighed for he didn't really feel like company. Yet, he reluctantly replied, "Yeah, come in, Alice."

Alice slowed opened Edward's bedroom door to let herself in. She gave him a small smile before sitting down on the edge of his bed.

"I am sorry to bother you. Mom sent me up to check on you. You kind of scared her to death when you bolted out of the hospital like that last night," she told him, her tone low and full of sympathy.

Edward ran his hand through his hair, trying to act as if he didn't care, but of course he was only fooling himself. He didn't realize how much of a fright he must have given his parents. Between getting into a car accident and then just ditching all of them like that, he had messed up quite heinously. "Yeah, I am sorry about that. I just couldn't deal with all that. Too much at once, you know?"

Alice nodded her head, trying to understand as best she could. She could only empathize so much with because she had never been in such a situation as Edward was. "Yeah, I know." Alice reached out and gave Edward a hug. "I am so sorry you have to go through this."

After they pulled apart, Edward responded, "Thanks, Alice." He appreciated her concern but he really didn't want anyone's pity. Edward was not one to be dependent on the sympathy of others; he liked to handle things his own way on his own time.

Desperate to change the subject and draw the topic of conversation away from himself, Edward turned the edges of his lips up into a slight smirk. "You know, despite how annoying you can be, you really are my favorite sister."

Alice raised her eyebrows in amusement. "Edward," she said.

"Yeah?" he answered back nonchalantly.

Trying to hold in her laughter, Alice simply replied, "I am your only sister."

"Oh that's right" Edward snapped his finger as though the light bulb in his head had just gone off. "I guess that is why you are my favorite. I don't have any other options," he told her, his voice sarcastic. They stared at each for a moment, holding back their laughter but their attempts failed because they both laughed hysterically. Because regardless of all the jokes Edward would always make, Alice knew that she was one of the few steady things in his life. But like all other brother and sister pairs, they always bickered back and forth, teasing on another. Nevertheless, Edward could always depend on her and turn to her whenever things got rough.

"Shut up," Alice retorted, playfully punching him in the ribs.

"AH!" Edward shouted out in pain. He flew up off the bed, clutching his side in pain.

Alice's hand reflexively covered her mouth in shock. "Oh Edward!" she exclaimed. "I completely forgot about your broken ribs. I am sorry."

Edward hunched over as his body began to ache for the numbness he experienced in his sleep was long gone. His broken ribs were throbbing in agony, his bruised ankle ached in pain, and the stitched up cut on his arm stung in discomfort. He had forgotten that the pain medication he had taken the night before had worn off hours ago.

"Ice," Edward said to Alice, his voice low and dulled by his soreness that overwhelmed him. "Get some ice".

"Okay, point taken. Here," she extended out her arms to help support Edward the best she could but she struggled because he was significantly taller than she was. "Come with me downstairs. I will help you down the stair and get you some ice. Then you can have some breakfast and take some of the pain meds the doctors prescribed. You know, you always got to take those with food. You especially, Edward, get nauseous when you take medicine on an empty stomach. Like that time . . ." she rambled.

Edward rolled his eyes as Alice rambled on about some nonsense he honestly could care less about at the moment. All he wanted was to get some ice, take his pain medication, and go down to hospital to visit Bella. But no, he is standing here listening to Alice babble on. _You are my sister and I love you_, _Alice, but I swear, of all the times for you to want to reminiscence_, Edward thought to himself. After about a minute of hearing Alice's babbling he finally cut her off.

"Alice," he was annoyed now, still in pain.

She stopped mid-sentence to answer him. "What?"

"Today please. Before the ice melts," Edward told her.

"Oh! Sorry," Alice let out a light hearted laugh, her sort of way of apologizing for unintentionally stalling. "Let's go," she said to him as she helped Edward walk across the hall, down the stairs, and finally into the kitchen.

As they walked into the kitchen, Edward was greeted by his mother.

"Good morning, Edward," Esme said kindly.

"Ah, morning, Mom," Edward struggled to respond, still in pain.

Esme looked at her son with compassion as she watched him sit down at the table, pain and sadness painting his face. Alice got a plastic bag, filled it with ice, and brought it over to Edward.

"Thanks, Alice," he told her as he placed the bag of ice of his side. He sighed in relief as the coldness of the ice eased the burning ache of his broken ribs. Alice took a sit across the table from Edward.

Esme walked up to her son, softly placing a hand on his shoulder. She looked at him with compassion "How are you feeling?" she asked him, her voice gentle and soothing.

Edward looked up at his mother, his expression emotionless. "Fine. Really, Mom, I am okay," he lied. He tried to sound as sincere as he could, not wanting to cause her anymore anxiety than he already had. But despite his false façade, his mother could still see the hurt in his eyes.

"Edward," she told him sweetly. "Edward, I am your mother. Now, you can't honestly expect me to be believe that everything is just fine and dandy, do you?' Esme raised her eyebrow questionably.

Edward didn't respond. He just shrugged his shoulders and fuddled with the bag of ice.

Esme sighed. "You can't try and hold in everything you feel, Edward. That will only make it worse."

After a short moment of silence, Edward finally replied, "I guess."

Seeing as she wasn't getting anymore, Esme decided to lighten up the tension in the air. "All right," Esme exclaimed. "Enough preaching for one morning. Time for breakfast." She left Edward's side and made her way to the counter. She reached into the cabinets pulling out bowls and then into the refrigerator to get ingredients.

Alice's eyes lit up; breakfast was her favorite meal of the day. "Oh! What are you making, Mom?"

"Does chocolate chip pancakes sound good?" Esme asked as she opened as new bag of chocolate chips.

"Yeah, definitely," Alice answered excitedly.

"How about you, Edward? Chocolate chip pancakes are good?" Esme questioned while she mixed the flour and other dry ingredients in with eggs and milk.

Of all the things for his mother to decide to make she had to choose chocolate chips pancakes. Edward couldn't help but be pulled into the memories of Bella that were surfacing in his mind.

"Bella's favorite," Edward mumbled, yet not loud enough for anyone to make out the words.

"What was that, Edward? I didn't hear you," Esme replied, now turned around to face him, her apron lightly dusted in flour.

Feeling suddenly distracted, Edward tried to form some kind of coherent response. "Oh, um, yeah, I said, that's great."

Esme looked at him with curious eyes, wondering why he has stumbled so such much just to say that simple sentence. "Okay," was all she said to him.

In the meantime, as Esme continued with her cooking, Edward thought back to one time in his sophomore year of high school when he and Bella had tried to pull an all-nighter studying for their trig final in her basement. Of course, neither one of them were able to stay up the whole night, but ended up falling asleep instead. The next morning when they woke up, they made chocolate chip pancakes together, or at least attempted to, because they had always been one of Bella's favorites. Edward could recall the memory perfectly. Flour coated all the countertops and chocolate chips were scattered all about. The smoke detector was set off after Bella left Edward in charge of cooking the pancakes. That, of course, didn't go well for the pancakes were black as coal by the time he took them off the griddle. Bella was filled with humored fury. She couldn't help but laugh at the whole ridiculous situation but she had really wanted those pancakes too. In playfully retaliation, Bella had taken a handful of flour and dusted it atop Edward's hair. He tried his best to get as much out as he could with his hands as Bella looked on in hysterical laughter for Edward's hair was frosted and clouded.

"God, Bella, look at what you did," he had jokingly said to her. "You have no idea how long it takes me to do my hair. Do you think I just roll out of bed and that's it?"

"Yeah, I do," she shouted as she gasped for air since she was out of breath from laughing so hard.

Instead of responding, Edward had joined Bella and laughed. Hearing the sweet, melodious sound of her voice was too tempting to ignore.

Suddenly, Edward was snapped back from his blissful daydream into reality by the sound of his sister's voice.

"Hello! Edward!" Alice shouted, waving a plate full of pancakes in front of him.

"What?" he answered back sharply.

"Nothing, gosh," Alice responded, peeved by Edward's harsh tone. "Mom just put down your pancakes and you are off in lala land. So here I am calling your name to get your attention and you are completely ignoring me."

Edward flushed with embarrassment. "Oh, sorry," he muttered as Alice put his plate of pancakes back down in front of him in a huff.

Once all the food was on the table, Esme sat down to join her children for breakfast. Just in time, Carlisle entered into the kitchen.

"Morning, everyone," he greeted as he adjusted his collar underneath his sweater.

Carlisle walked over to his wife, and gave her a quick kiss on the lips before taking a seat down at the table. He helped himself to the platter of pancakes at the center of the table as he spoke. "I apologize for not being able to spend more time with all of you at the hospital last night. I was called to scrub in for emergency surgery on a heart attack patient. I did, however, go see Bella as soon as I was finished." He sighed and shook his head. "It's terrible seeing her there like that, truly heartbreaking. Hopefully it won't be long before she wakes up."

After that, there was a tension moment of silence in the air. Carlisle decided to break the apprehension. "So Edward, how are you feeling today? You look better than yesterday."

Edward struggled to look up at his dad. He didn't want to ignore him and be rude but he was honestly getting tired of everyone asking him how he was feeling. If anything, Edward just wanted to be left alone with his thoughts and memories of Bella and not have to discuss the accident. "Yeah, I am doing my best to hang in there, Dad," he mumbled as he took a small bit of his pancakes.

Carlisle simply nodded. He decided to slightly postpone the unavoidably necessary discussion he knew him and Esme would have to have with their son.

"Alice?" Esme asked sweetly.

"Yes?"

"When you are finished with your breakfast, would you mind taking a quite run to the grocery store for me? I need some carrots and potatoes for dinner," Esme told her.

With slightly peculiar eyes, Alice responded, "Um, yeah. Sure, Mom. I am done eating anyways. Let me just go get my shoes." Alice knew that her parents wanted to talk to Edward alone for they have never sent her on errands so randomly. Regardless, she took one more bite of her chocolate chip pancakes before running upstairs to fetch her shoes.

Edward watched the interaction between his sister and mother carefully. He knew something was up and decided to wait patiently rather than ask. It was only a matter of time before he found out anyways he assumed. Esme gave her son a reassuring smile to try and ease him. She then got up from the kitchen table to go get her son's pain medication. "Here," she said to Edward, sitting back down, as she pushed two small, white round pills in front of him along with a glass of water. "Take these. The doctor said it would be best to take these for the next seven to ten days to make to pain a little more bearable, especially for your ribs." Edward nodded and took the medication, swallowing them with a couple if gulps of water, hoping it would soothe his pain. His physically pain, anyway. Edward knew nothing could be done for his emotional pain at the pain. He was just going to have to get use to that constant gnawing feeling of guilt and loss he felt in the pit of his stomach for the time being.

Before they knew it, Alice had returned from retrieving her shoes. She grabbed her coat and her purse. Before heading out the door, she called out, "Mom! Dad! Edward! I'm leaving. I shouldn't be too long. If any of you need me just call me on my cell phone."

"Bye, Alice," Carlisle and Esme replied back simultaneously.

Edward mumbled under his breath, "Bye," for he knew that being alone with his parents was only going to lead to his most unwanted discussion about the accident.

"So, this gives us a little time to talk," Carlisle told Edward in a cheerful tone in the attempts to lighten up the mood.

Edward let out a sighed and gave his dad a false smile as he pushed the remaining bits of food left in his plate with his fork. "Great," he told his parents flatly.

Esme stretched out her arms to put her hands over Edward's, "Listen, dear, I know this is hard for you. I understand that, but we have to have a serious talk."

Carlisle took over the conversation from here. "What your mother is trying to say is that what happened yesterday put some things into perspective."

"Like what?" Edward asked, still distant from the conversation.

Carlisle sighed for he felt the answer was obvious, that it was unnecessary for it to be stated. "Well for one, we could have lost you, Edward. You saw what the scene of that accident looked like. You are lucky that you only walked away with the injuries that you did and didn't suffer much worse. And furthermore, look at what happened to Bella."

Edward winced at the mention of her name and the agonizing thoughts that followed. "What are you trying to get at, Dad?" he pushed.

"I just don't want you to lose sight of what happened just because the victim was Bella," Carlisle answered as he tried to keep his voice steady.

Edward opened his mouth to interrupt but opted to let his father continue.

Looking at his son with cautious eyes, Carlisle continued, "I just want you to understand the consequences of your actions, Edward, and not just because Bella happened to be the one to suffer. Yes, I do know that Bella having to suffer only makes the situation worse but it could have so easily been a stranger as well." He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts before speaking again. "You could have killed someone, Edward."

Esme flashed a shocked glare at her husband for she had hoped Carlisle would not make such a blunt and hurtfully statement, no matter how true it may be. Before she had time to intercede on her son's behalf, Edward was fuming with fury as he lashed out at his father. "Not just _someone_," he yelled out, correcting Carlisle. "_Bella_, I could have killed _Bella_," putting emphasis on the name.

Carlisle involuntary flinched back in response to Edward's sudden outburst. Nonetheless, Edward continued his vehement rampage. "I don't care that it could have been someone else, Dad. If it was anyone else, I don't know how I would feel but I am certain it couldn't be this painfully because I can't imagine anything being worse than this." Edward paused for a moment to catch his breath and gather his words in the hopes of somewhat controlling his temper. He continued his slightly lower and calmer than before. "But you know what, Dad, all these what ifs don't matter because it is Bella's life on the line, not a stranger's. If something goes wrong, more wrong than it already has, and Bella doesn't wake up, I am going to have to live with that for the rest of my life."

Carlisle waited a minute before speaking, giving Edward some more time to gain control over his emotions. "Look, I can imagine how hard this is for you." Edward couldn't help but snicker at the obliviousness of the statement. Carlisle dismissed the gesture and went on, "I did not want to upset you, okay? That was not my goal. I just wanted for you to understand the dire consequences . . ."

Carlisle couldn't even finish before Edward cut him off, standing now. "Don't you think I already understand what has happened, Dad, what I have to live with?" Too annoyed to say anything else and not wanting to listen to anymore lectures he felt to be useless, Edward walked out of the kitchen. He ran upstairs as quickly as his injured ankle could carry him, went into his room, grabbed Bella's snowflake necklace that he had quickly stashed under his pillow, putting it in his pocket, and threw on a pair of sneakers. From there, he went back downstairs, searching for the keys to his father's car. But Carlisle was faster considering Edward's injured state. Carlisle stood blocking the doorway while dangling his car keys in plain sight.

"Going somewhere?" Carlisle asked in a strangely calm tone.

Edward quickly turned around to face his father for he had not seen him standing there while he was looking for the car keys. "I want to go see Bella," Edward grumbled in response.

His father let out a humorless laugh. "And you were going to drive there, Edward?"

Edward looked at Carlisle curiously as he replied, "Well, um, yeah. I can't exactly walk there."

Shaking his head, Carlisle told Edward, "No, Edward, you are missing my point. You can't seriously believe that I would let you drive my car just a day after you had a nearly fatal accident in yours."

Edward, of course, had no answer because this time he knew his father was right.

Carlisle continued in a stern voice, "As of today, your driving privileges have been taken away until further notice."

"So that's it then? I can't even go see Bella?" Edward asked.

Carlisle tucked the keys away into his pocket and put his hand on his son's shoulder. "Of course, you can go, Edward. You just aren't driving. I will take you. I have to leave for work in a couple hours anyway. So in the meantime, why don't you take it easy for a bit. Maybe take a shower and relax for a bit, okay?"

Edward let out a light sigh as he nodded in agreement. "All right." He turned around and started to walk around but then stopped and faced his father once more.

"Hey, Dad. I am sorry about getting so defensive before. It's just … I don't know ," Edward trailed off, shaking his head, not knowing what else to say to his father.

His father gave him a compassionate and understanding smile. "I forgive you. I didn't mean to make you so upset. I was just trying to help, but I see now that it is best for me not to force you into taking about this right now. I understand. But if you ever need to talk, your mother and I, as well as your sister, are here to listen."

"Thanks, Dad," Edward replied smiling back before he went upstairs.

Before going to take a shower, Edward went into his room and took the snowflake necklace out of his pocket. He stared at it briefly and clutched it in his hand as he tightly held his eyes shut as though to help bring back memories from the dream that now seemed so distance. Pieces slowly come back to him.

_Bella took Edward's face in her hands before speaking; the strength in her voice surprised her, "Listen, regardless of what happens I need you to stop blaming yourself for what was happened because no matter what I will never stop loving you. No matter how impossible that may seem to you, I swear to you that I never will. Even if it I don't seem to know it myself, it will always be true."_

_He gently caressed her cheek before simply answering, "Okay, if that is what makes you happy then that's what I will do." Edward gently kissed Bella softly on her lips. "And I will always love you as well", he whisper to her._

After his mind realized him from his memories and returned him back to reality, Edward sighed, as he tucked the necklace back into its black box and put it into a spare drawer in his night table by his bed. _Time_, he thought to himself,_ maybe that is all I need, all that she needs._


	9. Chapter 9: Visiting Hours

Chapter 9: Visiting Hours

I apologize for taking longer than expected to update. I was preoccupied reading Breaking Dawn for a while, which I loved by the way. I thought it was the perfect ending to the series. But anyways, I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed my story. I appreciate all the great things you all have to say. I love hearing what you think about the story. I really enjoyed writing this chapter because there were quite a few people in it. For anyone who watches General Hospital, my character, Nurse Johnson, is sort of a spin off of Nurse Nadine Crowl lol Just a bit of info for anyone who is interested. So, I hope you enjoy this chapter and leave reviews. I love reading them. And I apologize if it feels as though the story is moving slow. It will be picking up, but everything is needed for upcoming happenings so bear with me lol.

Chapter 9: Visiting Hours

Edward took a shower, letting the hot water ease his tense muscles and somewhat calm his restless mind, before changing into fresh clothes. He put on a faded pair of jeans and a long-sleeved grey shirt before lying down on the couch in his living room to rest for a while. Unintentionally, Edward fell asleep but was awoken by the sound of Alice's voice.

"Hey, Edward," she said to him, standing next to the couch. "I am sorry to wake you but I thought you might want to get out of the house for a bit. You know, to get your mind off of things. I am meeting up with Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie for dinner and then we might go the movies or something afterwards. We would love it if you came with us."

Edward sat up on the couch and rubbed his eyes to wear off the slightly groggy feeling left over from his dreamless nap. "Thanks, Alice," he answered as he yawned, "but I think I am going to have to pass. Dad is supposed to drive me to the hospital to go see Bella, anyways."

Alice looked at him with a surprised expression. "Oh, well, um, Dad already left for work," she said to him slowly.

"What?" Edward exclaimed as he flew off the couch in a rush to get a clear view of the clock. He groaned in disappointment as he realized it was already 4 o'clock and that he had slept practically the entire afternoon away.

Alice explained to Edward, "When I got home Dad was almost ready to leave and he wanted to wake you up but Mom said it would be better if we let you sleep to give your body a little more time to rest up and heal. And since Dad agreed, he left."

Edward sighed. "Great, just great," he complained.

"Don't worry. It's okay. I can take you if you want. I am sure everyone won't mind stopping by to see Bella _again_," Alice informed him, her tone more cheerful this time.

"Again?" Edward asked with curiosity. "When did they go to hospital?"

Alice replied, "Earlier this afternoon. Emmett and Rosalie were already there by the time Jasper and I arrived." She gave Edward a small smile as though to compensate for the fact that they visited Bella before he did.

"Oh," was all Edward said as he ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "Alright, well as long as you guys don't mind, I guess you can drop me off at the hospital." He tried to sound somewhat happy but Edward really wasn't in the mood to be around neither his friends nor accept the pity they would be offering him.

"Great, they should be here any minute."

As though on cue, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it," Alice exclaimed as she made her way from the living room to the front door. She opened the door and greeted her boyfriend, Jasper, along with Emmett and his girlfriend, Rosalie, as they entered.

"Hey, Edward, how are you doing, man?" Emmett asked, still sounding as casual as ever.

Edward shrugged. "How do you think?"

"Well we are here for you," Emmett told him, patting him on his back, "if you need anything."

Jasper joined in. "Yeah, definitely, Edward. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help."

Edward put his hands in pockets and nodded his head just wishing everyone would just drop the subject as he stared at the ground. "Thanks, really, I am fine but I would really like to make it down to the hospital today so it would be nice if we got going." Edward could hear the acidic tone in his voice but quite honestly didn't care at this point. All he wanted was to be with Bella, not wasting his time making idle chitchat.

Awkward silence lingering in the air for a moment before Alice spoke in response to Edward's obvious annoyance. "Okay, well, everyone at to my car then," she announced, ending with a nervous giggle. Emmett and Jasper followed right behind Alice as Rosalie stood behind. When Edward looked up he saw her staring at him with sympathy in her eyes. She didn't say anything to him but rather just walked up to Edward and gave him a warm hug.

"I'm sorry," she whispered before she broke the embrace.

Edward looked at Rosalie. Her eyes looked as though they were about to overflow with tears but she managed to control her emotions from getting the best of her. "Thank you," he said to her. Edward felt he owed her at least that much. With that, they both headed out the door and into Alice's car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You guys don't have to come inside again," Edward said as he opened the door once Alice pulled up in front of the hospital.

"Are you sure?" Jasper asked. "We wouldn't mind coming in with you."

As Edward got out of the car, he answered, "Thanks but I think this is something I should do on my own."

After Edward closed the door and started to walk away from the car, Alice rolled down her window and called after him. "Hey, Edward, what time do you want me to pick you up?"

Edward turned around to answer. "Well it is 5 o'clock now so I guess whatever time visiting hours are over."

"I think they end at 7," Alice replied.

"Alright so pick me up at 7 then if that's okay. Are you sure you don't mind?" he asked his sister.

Alice looked at Edward as though he was missing something that was completely obvious. "Edward, look at what you have just been through. This is the very least I can do for you."

Edward nodded and smiled slightly. "Thanks, Alice. Really, I mean it."

From the back seat, Emmett decided to butt in as he so commonly did. "Aw, how sweet," he said mockingly, wiping away a fake tear.

"Oh shut up," Rosalie told him, smacking his arm playfully. Everyone else in the car just laughed. Even Edward let at a small chuckle at Emmett and Rosalie's usual bickering for it gave him a sense a normalcy; as though nothing had changed but, when in reality, everything had.

"Well, I should get going. Thanks again, Alice. Bye, everyone," Edward said, waving goodbye, before walking away from the car and into the hospital.

Upon entering the hospital, Edward headed for the front desk to find out Bella's floor and room number. Although he had been there just yesterday, remembering the exact location of Bella's room had been the last thing on his mind.

"Excuse me, miss?" he politely asked the receptionist at the help desk. "Can you tell me where I can find Isabella Swan?"

"Yes, no problem. One moment please," she replied as she entered some information into her computer. "Ah, here, third floor, room 20B."

"Thank you," he said to her in the same polite tone.

The receptionist smiled at him. "My pleasure. Have a nice day."

"Same to you," Edward responded as he headed off to the gift shop.

"I would like a bouquet of roses, please," Edward asked of the young man behind the register.

The gift shop employee scoffed at him and let out an irritated burst of laugher. "What is this? Valentine 's Day? I don't have a bouquet of roses," he mocked, trying to imitate Edward's voice. "This is a hospital gift shop, not a florist."

Edward glared at him in retaliation for his unnecessary rude comments. "Fine," he told him flatly. "Do you have any flowers at all?"

"Yeah, I got a couple of daisies with those little sticks that say 'get well'," he replied, rolling his eyes.

"Just give me those then," Edward told him firmly. He wasn't in the mood for this man's immature behavior.

The man turned around and picked up one the small pots with yellow and white daisies, placing it on the counter in front of Edward. "That will be ten dollars and fifty cents," the employee said, speaking for the first time without making a sarcastic remark.

"Here," Edward said as he handed the employee the twenty dollar bill he already had in his hand.

The employee handed him his change as Edward picked up the flowers. He murmured a quick, "Thank you", as he headed for the door.

"No problem," the employee shouted after him. "I will be sure to put that bouquet of roses on the side for you when they come in," he mocked as he laughed hysterically.

Edward just ignored him and continued to walk out. "Stupid jackass," he mumbled under his breath.

From the gift shop, Edward took the elevator up to the third floor. He exited off and walked down the hall until he reached room 20B. Edward could nearly hear his heart beating louder and louder with each step as he got closer to his destination. Before he knew it, he was standing outside room 20B. Although he had been experiencing an overwhelming need to come here today and knew in his heart that he had to be here, Edward couldn't help but hesitate going in at the last moment. But with a deep breath, all that anxiety went out the window as Edward entered into the room.

While it still felt somewhat uncomfortable with the machines and all, there was something that made Edward felt at peace. He put the flowers on the window sill and sat in the chair next to Bella's bedside. Edward couldn't help but notice how immensely different the room looked from how he remembered it being the night before. It was no longer plain and dull but had been ornamented with get well gifts much like the one he had just brought himself. Edward couldn't believe how many things Bella had received in such a short amount of time. But then again, Bella was always well liked.

Edward couldn't contain his smile as he thought of all the reasons why he liked Bella. She sweet, brave, caring, funny, smart, and more beautiful than any other girl he had ever seen. Yet it was the fact the she was so unaware of just how amazing she was the made Bella even more attractive to him. Edward gently stroked Bella's cheek as his mind flooded itself with memories of her. He lightly traced her soft features, memorizing each of them as he did so. Edward could have sworn that he saw Bella's cheeks flush when he touched her but dismissed the possibility for his mind was playing tricks on him.

Being there in the hospital with her today felt so different than the short moment he was there the day before. Edward no longer paid attention to the machines, the beeping noises, the brace on her wrist, the gauze wrapped around her head, or the cut and bruises that were scattered about her body. Now, he could only see his Bella, his soul mate and love of his life. Of course, that sickening feeling of guilt continued to gnaw at him in the pit of stomach since he still blamed himself for her being in this situation in this first place but being with Bella somewhat relieved his pain.

"I love you," he whispered to Bella as he picked up Bella's uninjured hand and brought it up to his lips to kiss it. "I am so sorry for doing this to you, Bella. So sorry. Not just for hurting for physically, but for hurting you emotionally as well." Edward's voice broke as his guilt choked up in his throat. He took a deep breath and swallowed hard to keep his emotions at bay.

"I wish I could have told you sooner how I felt, how I truly love you more than I ever thought humanly possibly. Maybe this would have been different," he said to her softly as he put her hand against his cheek. "But I am not going to lose you, Bella, not like this. I won't let that happen. I _need_ to be with you, Bella, so much. So please, I am begging you, wake up. Please." And with that, a small tear rolled down his cheek.

Before he could say any more, Edward heard a knock on the door on the already open door. He quickly wiped his eyes, pulling himself together, before looking up at the nurse. She had shoulder length blonde hair and a smile with a positive gleam.

"I am sorry to interrupt, Mr. Cullen, but I just have to update Miss Swan's charts," the nurse said to him as she entered into the room.

Edward was taken back by the fact that she knew who he was for he didn't recall ever meeting her before. He cleared his throat before speaking to shake off any excess sadness. "Yeah, sure, go ahead. But if you don't mind me asking, how do you know who I am?"

The nurse gave him a shy smile before speaking. "I'm Nurse Johnson. You probably don't remember me from yesterday but I was the nurse who helped you into the exam room when you were brought in by the ambulance."

"Oh, well thank you then. I apologize for not recognizing you. You can call me Edward, by the way," Edward said to nurse.

"Don't even worry about it, Edward," she told him with an optimistic tone, waving her hand dismissively. "I was also the one who first received the phone call that you, as well as Miss Swan and Mr. Black had been involved in a near fatal car accident." She paused for a brief moment before continuing. "Seeing the look on Dr. Cullen's face when I told him that his son was in a front on collision was heart breaking."

Edward could see the sudden sadness that came upon the Nurse Johnson's face. Edward couldn't even begin to imagine the panic that must have overcame his father when he heard that Edward had been in a possibly fatal accident. Carlisle had no way of knowing in what kind of shape he was going to find his son in, if he was even alive at all. It was then that Edward realized that he owed it, not only his father, but his mother as well, to ease up on them and not be so defensive and harsh when they are only trying to help him.

Nurse Johnson saw the sudden contemplative look in Edward's face and attempted to change the subject for she didn't want to cause him any more pain than which she had seen in his eyes when she came into the room. "But it seems you are doing well today," she said to him with yet another cheerful smile.

Edward shrugged as he gently put Bella's hand between his, playing with her fingers. "I have been better," he said to her in low voice.

She simply nodded and walked over to the machines that were monitoring all of the activities going in Bella's bodies. "Well let me just check up on Miss Swan and then I will be on my way so you can have your privacy." Nurse Johnson took note of everything, writing down all the information that the monitors presented to her in Bella's folder.

"Any change?" Edward hesitantly asked because he would much rather try to convince himself that Bella was getting better than hear that she was still as unresponsive as she was yesterday. But regardless, Edward knew he couldn't delude himself into believing something that wasn't true. He had to face reality because he knew that the longer he ignored it, the harder it would later hit.

"Sorry, no," Nurse Johnson answered, confirming what Edward already feared to be true. "But her vitals are still strong so that's a good thing. And it has only been a day after all so give her some time."

"Yeah, I guess. Seems like I don't have any other choice in the matter anyway," he told her, his voice grim.

"Don't be so pessimistic. I have been a nurse for five years and I have seen a lot of sick and injured people. I have met people who were in even worse conditions than Miss Swan but yet managed to pull through. Want to know why? It is because of this right here," she said, pointing to Edward and Bella.

Edward looked up at her, confused. "What do you mean?"

"This, what you are doing, is what makes all the difference in the world. You can not imagine how much more quickly people wake up from comas when they have friends and family who visit them. Just by talking to her, touching her like you were, Edward, it helps. Of course the patient is not consciously aware of such interactions but how can they not feel the presence and the love?" the nurse paused a moment a shrugged. "Guess it all comes down to having faith."

"You really think it helps?" Edward asks as he softly traced shapes on Bella's palm.

Nurse Johnson smiled warmly and nodded. "Yes, I do."

Gently sandwiching Bella's hand between his hands, Edward told her, "Well I guess you will be seeing quite a bit. Not that I wasn't going to be coming here a lot in the first place, but I have even more reason to do so now."

"Well I am glad to her that. I truly hope everything works out for the best. I hate to leave so abruptly but I have rounds to finish. It was nice talking to you, Edward, and I am sure I will be seeing you here again soon."

Edward let out a light chuckle. "Yes, definitely. Take care, Nurse Johnson."

"Same to you," she told him as she walked out of the room, leaving Edward alone with Bella.

Edward turned his head back to look at Bella, his eyes soft and full of love and admiration. "I will spend everyday here next to you if it will bring you back to me. Whatever it takes, Bells, I will do it for you," he whispered, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear, being extra careful not to move the gauze that was wrapped around her head.

Edward sat their silently for the next few minutes with his eyes closed, holding Bella's hand pressed against his cheek. He listened to the sound of her heartbeat on the monitor and her low pattern of breathing. He hoped that somehow, someway that she could feel him there with her. He wondered what she was thinking about, what was dreaming about. Was she resting peacefully and comfortably or did she feel any pain? Was she scared?

Until Alice called to say that she arrived at the hospital to pick him up, Edward spent what was left of his visiting hours telling Bella about a variety of old memories they had made together. It felt like much too soon when Alice called Edward to tell him that it was time to leave. Not wanting to keep Alice waiting, even though she offered to do so, Edward decided to leave.

He stood up from the chair and gently caressed Bella's cheek one last time before kissing her on her forehead. "I love you, Bella. I will see you tomorrow. Sleep well, my angel."

Once reaching the threshold leaving Bella's room, Edward turned around to look at her once more. His eyes grew soft and he sighed before leaving to go meet Alice outside.


	10. Chapter 10: Define Happy

First of all, I was pleasantly surprised by how much positive feedback I received on the last chapter. I was truly amazed by all the great things all you awesome reviewers had it say. Thanks soo much! You are all fabulous lol. And I know I have been slow at updating the last few chapters so I worked extra hard on this one to get it to you guys as fast as possible. Not too much has happened in the last two chapters and I apologize for that but they were needed for character and plot development. From this chapter on, the story will be picking up much more. There are just a couple of things I want to point out before you start reading in case I havent mentioned them before. I made Edward, Bella, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, and Jacob all the same age. So they are all seventeen in their senior year of high school. Also, Jacob and his friends go to the same high school as everyone else, Forks High School, rather than the one in La Push. Anyway, enough rambling and on with the story. I hope you enjoy and please enjoy! I love hearing from you!

Chapter 10: Define Happy

"Edward! Come on already! We are going to be late for school!" Alice shouted from downstairs to Edward who was still sleeping in his bed.

Edward groaned into his pillows, sandwiching his head between two of them. "Ugh, shut up, Alice," he grumbled just loud enough for her to hear. Since school started a week ago, three weeks since the accident, it has been the virtual torture for Edward.

"Fine!" she retorted back. "Mom!" she yelled to Esme. "I am leaving whether or not Edward's ready to go. If we are late again we are going to get detention and I have plans after school that I don't intend on breaking just because Edward is being difficult."

Esme sighed, gently massaging her temples with her fingertips. She was tired of the daily yelling that went on in the morning. She went up to Edward's room and knocked on the door before letting herself in.

"Go away," Edward murmured, assuming it was Alice.

"Out of bed, Edward. Now, please" Esme told him sharply.

He sighed, rolling his eyes, but nonetheless complied. His mother stood in the doorway, her arms crossed and an annoyed expression on her face, waiting as Edward dragged himself out of bed.

Esme talked to Edward as he quickly made his bed and took out a pair of beige pants and a white tee shirt. "Now I know that school has been less than pleasant for you but I can not just let you stay home, Edward. And Alice has been more than cooperative when it comes to taking you to the hospital, to school, and wherever else you need to go so give her a little break and stop giving her a hard time."

Edward just stared blankly at his mother once she had finished talking, not saying a word to her. After a few seconds he told her, "I am going to go take a shower," and he walked away and into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

Edward had been trying not to be so hard on his parents and to understand that they were just helping the best way they knew how. But all his efforts seemed pointless now that recent events at school had made him only even bitterer. Edward was just plain _tired_ of all the rumors and stories that had spread about his involvement. Typically, Edward was not one to care about the opinions of others and what people thought of him. But it is hard to ignore what everyone thinks of you when they think you intentionally tried to kill your best friend.

Some people believed that Bella and Jacob were secretly dating and that Edward had found out, got mad, and purposely rammed his car into the car in the attempts of killing both of them. Other circulating stories said that Bella and Edward were romantically involved and that Bella was cheating on him with Jacob; thus, Edward sought revenge against Bella. But no matter what the rumor was, Edward was always described as jealous with a clear goal of killing Bella.

Of course, there was talk of the truth; that the entire accident was simply that, an accident, that Bella was dating neither Edward nor Jacob. But as usual, no one believed the truth because it wasn't as interesting or as fascinating as the lies. And the lies were getting to Edward. The thought of such things was beyond unfathomable to Edward for the idea only made him sick to his stomach. _How could anyone even consider that I would try to take Bella's life on purpose? I would die for her! It was an accident for god's sake! An accident!_ _Why can't they believe that? I love her. _Edward thought to himself as he quickly rushed through his shower.

He wasted no time throwing on his clothes and grabbing his books to put in his backpack before flying down that stairs as so to avoid more of Alice's yelling.

"Edward, if you aren't down here in --," Alice started to scream but stopped short when he appeared next to her.

"I am right here, Alice," Edward said to her in a flat monotone voice.

She rolled her eyes. "About time," she mumbled. "Did you even _bother_ to brush your hair today?" she asked him, narrowing her eyes analytically. Edward ran his fingers through his hair, obviously not caring, and was cut off by Alice before he could even respond. "You know what, it doesn't even matter," she told him, waving her hands in the air. "Let's go before we are late. Again."

With that, Alice grabbed her keys and headed out the door towards her car. Edward reluctantly followed and they both put their backpacks in the trunk before heading out on their way.

As they drove to school and the tension between them lifted ever so slightly, Alice asked, "How are you feeling, Edward?"

Physically, Edward was feeling much better. He had gotten the stitched removed from his arm and the cut was nothing more than a red mark now. His ankle didn't bother him as long as he didn't over work it and the bruising from his broken ribs could still be seen on his side but no longer felt sore.

But emotionally, Edward was worse than ever and his family and friends knew it, for the drastic change in his personality. He became distant, secluded, constantly feeling lonesome, like his there was no longer a reason for living. The witty, sarcastic, and fun-loving side of him had been lost. Guilt was eating at him more and more with each passing day with Bella's unchanging condition. And to top it all off, he couldn't walk through the halls of his high school without at least one person giving him dirty looks or making comments in reference to the rampant rumors.

"Hey, Edward, you hear me?" Alice asked again when Edward didn't respond.

"How do you want me to feel, Alice?" he snapped. "Honestly, what do you expect me to tell you day after day? Nothing has changed. Why should I feel any different?"

Alice didn't answer him. She just stared straight ahead at the road, her jaw tightly clenched.

Edward let out a deep breath. "Sorry, sorry," he said to her but there was no hint of apology in his voice.

"Whatever," she harshly as she parked the car in the school's parking lot. She quickly turned off the engine and got out of the car, slamming the door hard, to retrieve her backpack. "See you at lunch," she told Edward in an emotionless tone.

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The morning dragged on ridiculously long for Edward. All the classes he had signed up to take did not hold in interest. Instead, he found them mundane and relatively pointless. And worse of all, he was all alone in his classes. None of his friends, if he deserved to call him "friends" anymore, were in his classes but Edward knew this was to be true at the end of junior year. Then, he didn't care so much if Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie were going to be in his classes or not because he and Bella had signed up for the same ones together. They had planned to take all the same senior year classes ever since freshman year. But now, everything was different. Now, the seat to the right of Edward was always empty.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hey, Edward, maybe you should take a break from the hospital today and you know,

hang out with us for change," Emmett said to Edward as he next to from in the cafeteria.

Edward shrugged, briefing looking up at Emmett. "I don't think so, maybe some other time."

"Aw, come on, Edward, you never hang out with us anymore," Emmett pushed.

"I wonder why," he mumbled under his breath, rolling his eyes.

Edward's comment ended that conversation. For the duration of the lunch, Edward isolated himself from any other forms of conversation. Loneliness was really taking its toll on him. Jasper sat across from Alice, Emmett sat across from Rosalie, and Edward sat across from no one. It was like everyone had their "someone" but Edward. Edward's "someone" was still comatose in the hospital. Whenever everyone else at the lunch table got caught up in their relationship business, Bella and Edward had each other's company. Even though he and Bella were just friends, it didn't matter. The closeness between the two of them was nearly parallel to a real relationship.

Edward felt the sadness accumulating in his throat again at the thought of Bella and just how much he missed her. It felt like everyday he was finding another reason to miss her more and more.

"Edward, are you okay?" Jasper asked with concern in his eyes. Obviously Edward was not going as good of a job as he thought at hiding his emotions, for his heartbreak was evident on his face.

Before responding, Edward took a deep breath and trying to swallow the tightness in his throat. Still not feeling strong enough to speak without falling apart, he just simply nodded.

Fortunately for Edward, the bell rang to cue the end of lunch and the start of afternoon classes. Before he left off for next class, Edward pulled Alice aside.

"You don't have to drive me to the hospital today," he whispered to her, still not wanting to risk the chance of his voice breaking if he was to speak any louder.

Alice looked at him curiously, her head cocked slightly to the side. "You aren't going today?"

He answered slowly to control his voice. "No, I am going. I think I would just prefer to walk today. I just want some time alone before ago."

Alice opened her mouth to object, that she wouldn't mind taking Edward and the he shouldn't put too much strain on his ankle, but she knew none of that would persuade him from doing otherwise. Now especially, in light of the recent events, Edward was as stubborn as ever. "Okay," she told him. "If you change your mind . . ."

"I won't," Edward cut her off before she could finish her sentence.

Alice sighed. "Alright, well I'll see you at home then."

"Yeah, bye." And they parted ways to go to their classes.

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It didn't take Edward all too long to walk to the hospital from the school. His ankle barely even bothered him. But even for the short time, Edward enjoyed the quietness and stillness of the air. There was no one asking him how he was feeling or if he wanted anyone to talk to nor was there anyone spreading rumors behind his back.

Upon entering the hospital, Edward felt a sudden rush of serenity just knowing that he was moments away from seeing Bella. Even though her condition hadn't changed, Edward found comfort simply by being near her.

He hurried up his pace through the hallway to reach Bella that much quicker for he was anxious to see her now. But when he went to walk into her room, he stopped in the doorway after seeing that she was not by herself. There was already someone sitting in the chair beside her bed. Jacob Black.

Although Edward didn't announce his presence, Jacob did not fail to notice him.

"Well, look who decided to drop by. The criminal visiting his defenseless victim? Don't you think that's a little sick, Cullen? Pathetic even?" Jacob shook his head as he spoke to Edward.

Edward took a few more steps so that he was now in the room rather than just in the door.

"What are you doing here, Jacob?" Edward asked him coldly, ignoring all of the other comments he had just made.

Jacob scoffed. "I should be asking you the same question. _I _am here because a good friend of mine is in a coma. That's why," he told him sharply. "What is your excuse? Plotting some other way to kill her since your car didn't finish the job?"

Edward glared at him with narrowed eyes, fuming with anger. He struggled to control his anger as he spoke. "You know that's not how it happened and we aren't having this conversation."

Jacob let out an annoyed burst of laughter but then his expression turned deadly serious. "Why not, Cullen? It's not as though our arguing is going to wake her up," he said as he got up from the chair and walked closer to Edward, getting very much in his face. "But I am sure you know all about that. Bella being in a coma, I mean, considering it's all your fault and all."

Edward clenched his jaw tightly to hold back the rage building up inside him. He didn't want to cause a scene in the hospital and especially not in front of Bella, coma or no coma. "Shut up, or . . ."

Jacob didn't even let him finish his sentence. "Or what?" he shouted at him. "You will try to run me over again? Is it not enough that Bella is half dead because of you?"

That was the last straw for Edward. He had no idea how he was able to move so fast but before he knew it, Edward had dragged Jacob into hallway and had him held up against the wall, pulling at his collar.

"Stop acting like you are the only one who cares about her!" Edward lashed out at Jacob, still tugging tightly on his collar. "You spent one summer with her and you think you know what's best for her. You don't know what she needs or how to make her happy."

Jacob didn't say a word but rather just waited for Edward to let go of him. With a shove, Edward released his grip on Jacob. After a moment, Jacob finally spoke. "And you do? You think you know how to make her happy? Last time I saw Bella, she had just seen you and was hysterical crying. Whatever you said to her got her pretty upset. From what I saw, _you_ didn't make her happy."

Edward winced at the memory for it had been the last time he saw Bella before the accident. "I didn't say anything to her, not anything that was meant to hurt her intentionally," defending himself.

"Well it was probably something you didn't say then," Jacob told him.

Edward couldn't deny that one because Jacob was right. It was because Edward was too afraid to tell Bella how deeply he cared about her.

Before Jacob continued, the edges of his lips turned up into a smug smirk. "Although I do have to thank you for that."

Edward looked at him with a confused look on his face. "Thank me for what?"

"For getting Bella all upset," Jacob explained. "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have had the chance to, well, comfort her." His smug smile widened.

Edward could feel he wasn't going to like where this was going. Part of him wanted to walk away so he wouldn't have to hear what Jacob had to say but he couldn't find the strength to do so because Bella was involved. For her sake, he waited and listened.

Jacob didn't wait for a response from Edward, whose expression was hard and cold. "She was crying, over you of course, and was rambling on about how you didn't have the guts to tell her that you loved her. So I felt obligated to loosen her up a bit, make her forget why she was upset in the first place." Jacob was smiling even more at himself as he spoke. "To spare you all the details, I will keep it short. Let's just say that I know firsthand how much of an amazing kisser Bella is."

Edward felt the disbelief and shock fall upon his face. He felt as though he had been kicked in the stomach.

Jacob laughed at Edward's pained expression and couldn't resist adding insult to injury. "And yeah, she did kiss me back," he told Edward.

Just when Edward thought his heart couldn't be broken any further, he was proven wrong. He knew he had hurt Bella that day, hurt her so much, in more ways than one and he has been living with the regret of it ever since. But for her to feel compelled to seek such comfort in Jacob's arms, he couldn't believe. Yet, Edward could see clearly though Jacob's eyes that he was telling the truth; no hint of lying could be seen.

Jacob had kissed Bella. Bella had kissed Jacob. Edward just couldn't fathom the possibility. Jacob had gotten to experience the one thing Edward so desperately wanted for himself, and may now ever get the chance to. Suddenly, Edward no longer saw Jacob as just annoying and pompous, but as competition. If Jacob was going to be the one thing that stood in his way, then Edward was more than willing to fight for Bella. Starting now.

With one swift jab, Edward punched Jacob hard in the jaw. Jacob stumbled backwards and yelled out in pain, clutching the side of face.

After shouting out a spew of curses, Jacob finally formed a sentence. "Damn it, Cullen. What the hell is wrong with you?! You could have broken my jaw."

Edward glared at him, his fuming rage evident. "If you ever kiss her," he started before pausing for a moment. "No, let me rephrase. If you ever touch her again, I _will_ do more than break for jaw. Stay away from her."

Jacob tried to defend himself but wasn't given the chance to. "You can't tell me what --"

Edward interrupted him and spoke to him in a cold, hard tone. "Leave, Jacob. Now. Unless you enjoy pain and would like to experience more of it."

Deciding not to push his luck, Jacob turned around and walked away. Edward stood outside in the hallway, the bridge of his nose pinched between his fingers, as he tried to gain control over his still volatile temper. When he felt he had some of his composure back, he walked back into Bella's room, taking his seat in the chair next to her bed.

For the first time since Edward had been visiting Bella in the hospital, he didn't reach out and touch her as soon as he sat down. It wasn't because he didn't want to but because, now more than ever, he felt like he didn't deserve it. As Edward there in silence by Bella's side, a thought dawned on him. What if she didn't want to be with him, but rather Jacob? Would Edward be willing to give up his own happiness and his chance to be with Bella just to make her happy?

Edward sighed. "I am sorry, Bella, so sorry. I just keep hurting you time and time again." He shook his head. "I keep thinking I know what's best for you but how can I be sure? I just wish that you could tell me how you truly felt and maybe that way I can do something right for once."

He waited before saying anymore and listened to the beeping sounds coming from the machines as though they were Bella's response. "Why can't things be like the way they were before? I just want to talk to you, Bella. I miss you. I miss us. I miss your smile, your laughter, everything about you."

Edward reached out and gently caressed her cheek. He could not _not_ touch her. "All I want is for you to be happy," he whispered. _Happy with me_, he thought to himself.

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I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I really liked writing this one. I am soo not a Jacob fan so I don't mind him getting kicked around a bit lol. Get ready to expect a BIG surprise in the next chapter. I am starting to work on it now so I can have it up as soon as possible. And for anyone who likes songs that go along with stories, "Broken" by Lifehouse pretty much sums up how Edward has been feeling since the accident. It's a really good song so you should listen to it sometime lol. If I think of any other songs that go along with this story I will let you know lol. So that's all for now so thanks for reading this chapter, be on the lookout for the new one, and as always, please review! Thanks!


	11. Chapter 11: Shock

Chapter 11: Shock

Hello, everyone! Okay so this chapter took way longer than I expected and I apologize for that. I thought it would be done with it in like a week since I have been looking so forward to writing but it turned out to be a lot longer than expected lol like twice the size of one of my usually chapters. So I hope it was worth the wait. I really think all my wonderful readers are going to like this chapter. At least, I hope you all do. That reminds me, as always I want to thank everyone who left such awesome reviews! I am telling you, you guys are the best and really help encourage me in writing. Thanks you soo much! Anyways, on with the story. I really hope you like it and don't forget to review.

Chapter 11: Shock

"Seriously?" Jasper asked, his expression slightly shocked.

"Oh my god, no way!" Alice squealed.

Rosalie smiled brightly. "Oh I can't wait, I'm so excited!"

"Yeah, man, this is great!" Emmett exclaimed.

Edward couldn't help but let out a small chuckle as he shook his head jokingly at their responses. "You guys are making such a big deal out of this. I always go to the movies with you."

"Yeah, but this is just the first time in _forever_," Rosalie said to Edward, exaggerating the last word.

Jasper laughed. "I'll say. It's awesome that you want to spend some time with us again, Edward. We have really missed you."

"Tell me about it. And I live with him," Alice teased, playfully rolling her eyes.

Everyone at the lunch table laughed. It was mid-October, almost two months since the day of the horrific accident. The emotional pain that Edward was feeling had not dulled since Bella's catatonic state had remained unchanged, but rather, he had learned to live with the ache he felt tugging at his heart. The emptiness he felt in his soul was similar to that of a numbness that never went away. The only way he found some relief was when Edward was around Bella.

He still visited her everyday in the hospital, never missing once. Nonetheless, the loneliness had really started to take its toll on Edward. Yet, for the first time since the accident, he actually _wanted_ to be around his friends.

"So, what time you guys want to go?" Emmett asked. "I'm dying to see a good horror."

Rosalie groaned in frustration. "Horror again? Can't we see something a little less scary and not so gory?"

Emmett scoffed and mumbled something inaudible under his breathe in response. Rosalie rolled her eyes and playfully smacked him on the arm in retaliation.

"Oh! How about Momma Mia? The new sing-along version just came out," Alice suggested excitedly, her eyes almost glowing.

"No!" the entire table shouted at simultaneously, followed by laughter at the sudden expression of dramatic sadness on Alice's face.

Jasper spoke quietly. "Um, why don't we let Edward decide?"

Emmett nodded quickly in agreement. "Yeah, man, what do you want to see?" he asked Edward.

Edward thought for a moment before answering. He hadn't paid too much attention to such trivial things in the past couple of months that he didn't really have an idea what movies were playing. He had been too caught up in spending time with Bella to notice. "How does Batman sound?" he asked uncertainly. It was the first movie that came to Edward's head, probably because there was so much publicity around it. For all he knew, it may not even be playing in theaters anymore.

"Alright, sure, sounds good," Rosalie stated politely. "We wouldn't mind seeing Batman again."

"Oh no," Edward said apologetically, shaking his head. "If all of you already saw of it, we don't have to - -"

Alice waved her hands dismissively. "Don't be ridiculous, Edward."

"Yeah," Jasper spoke in agreement. "Batman was awesome. You'll love it. We can go after you go to the hospital."

A small smile fell upon Edward's at the thought of seeing Bella again and by the fact that his friends respected his need to see her. Jasper, especially, had been particular empathic towards him. "Okay, let's do it. How does 7:30 sound?"

"Fabulous!" Alice shouted out a little too loudly. "We will go straight from the hospital."

Before anyone could say anymore on the subject, the bell rang, signaling lunch was over and that it was time to go to class. Everyone at the table threw out their garbage and gathered up their belongings.

"Catch you guys later," Emmett shouted to his friends as he wrapped his arm around Rosalie's waist and headed off to class.

"Yeah, see you later," Jasper called back before interlocking fingers with Alice and starting to walk away.

"Oh wait!" Alice called after Edward, pulling Jasper along. Edward turned around in response. "Am I driving you to the hospital or are you walking today?"

"I'll walk and then you can come pick me up at 7 so we can go straight to the movies and hopefully make the 7:30 show," Edward answered, sounding as optimistic as the painfully numbness in his heart would allow him to.

Alice nodded. "Okay, you got it. I will be there." Alice gave him an appreciative smile. It seemed to her that time was healing some of Edward's emotional wounds because he was not as depressed and short-tempered as he had been right after the accident. But the truth of the matter was that Edward had just gotten better at hiding his true feelings.

"Thanks," Edward replied simply before heading off for class.

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Once classes were over for the day, Edward walked out the school exit. Out of the corner of his eye he saw three girls talking at the end of the street. Since they were so far away, he didn't make out their faces. It wasn't until he walked closer towards their direction that he recognized who they were. Alice, Rosalie, and . . . Jessica?

Alice and Rosalie hadn't spoken to Jessica since freshman year. Why would they decide to start talking to her again now? _Probably just some girl stuff, nothing of any significance I'm sure. Although if it is, Alice will just tell me all about it later_, Edward figured, not really wanted to be bothered by it by wasting his time wondering. He had more important matters on his mind.

With that, Edward began his work his way down to the hospital. He enjoyed the quiet stillness he experienced while walking this time in the afternoon. The cloudy skies and dense fog of Forks seemed to make his own mind murky like the weather, preventing him from feeling any overwhelmingly strong emotions like he so often did. Or maybe it was because the monotonous atmosphere of the Olympic peninsula that made it feel like nothing had changed, when in reality, everything had changed. But regardless of the reason, Edward welcomed such surroundings on occasion to provide some stability to the endless changes he had felt going on in his life.

The walk ended quickly, just as always, and Edward reached the hospital. From visiting so often, he had become acquainted with some of the medical staff and because of that, Edward was often greeted with many "hellos" and "how are you's" while walking the hallways. Nurse Johnson, or Nadine which he now called her since they were on a first name basis, was especially kind, encouraging, and always made Edward feel that there was hope of him having a future with Bella.

Edward took his usual seat next to Bella. She had been off the respirator a couple of weeks now; a good sign according to the doctors since it meant her vitals were growing stronger and was recovering from her external and internal injuries. Also, she no longer needed a bandage around her head since the cut and the incision from her surgery had fully healed, leaving only thin, pink scars underneath her hair. Even her fractured wrist was mended and didn't require the brace anymore. Most of Bella's bruises had faded away, too, while others were still faint, yellow marks.

But for the most part, Bella looked as though she was simply sleeping while lying in the hospital bed. Edward didn't view her as broken and injured, but rather as his sleeping beauty, from whom he was waiting to wake up and greet with a kiss.

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His time with Bella flew by as rapidly as ever. It was 7 o'clock before he knew it and Alice and the rest of his friends were waiting outside for him. Edward kissed Bella softly on the forehead and told her how much he loved her and how much he missed her before leaving the hospital.

When Edward got into the car with his friends, he almost immediately sensed a feeling of awkwardness in the air. But even more strangely, besides some bickering about what music station to listen to, it was silent the whole ride to the movie theater. Edward also noticed that Alice and Rosalie kept exchanging peculiar glances with one another, while Emmett and Jasper had guilty looks plastered on there faces. Rather than question the situation, Edward just sat quietly and kept his mouth shut.

Once Alice had parked the car in the lot, Edward and everyone else got out of the car.

"Well, wasn't that odd," Edward mumbled to himself under his breath.

However, Emmett, who was obviously paranoid, heard Edward and responded in a very unconvincing tone. "Nope, not odd at all. I don't know what you're talking about, Edward."

Edward stared blankly at him as he tried to figure just what exactly was going on. He had never seen his friends act so suspiciously before. However, he couldn't read well enough into any of their expression to find any hints.

He just shook his head and said, "Let's go," as they walked over to the booth where they were selling the movie tickets. However, upon reaching the booth, no one except Edward went to go stand on line.

"Okay, what is going on here?" Edward asked, now annoyed. "What is up with you guys?"

Alice opened her mouth to respond but her attention was diverted to something beyond Edward. "Jessica!" she shouted with much enthusiasm.

"Jessica?" Edward mumbled to himself in confusion.

A girl with medium length dirty blonde hair came skipping excitedly over.

"Sorry I'm late," Jessica explained, with a big grin on her face. She wore too tight, unflattering faded jeans and a blue sweater, which she tugged on to get a better fit. Edward immediately took note of how the shade of her shirt did her no justice, unlike Bella, who looked stunning in the color in contrast to her creamy skin. Edward couldn't help but scoff at the complete and total difference.

"Don't even worry about it, you're right on time," Alice said to her. "You know Edward, right, Jessica?" as she gestured towards her brother.

Jessica's smile grew even wider as she fuddling with her hair trying to be flirtatious as she turned her body slightly so she was facing more in Edward's direction. "Yes I do," she responded, not even looking at Alice. "Hey, Edward," she said, trying to be subtle as she gave him an obvious wink.

Edward's eyes went back and forth between Alice and Jessica until he settled on his sister and stared at her in disbelief. "Can I speak to you, Alice?" he asked, his voice strained by irritation.

"Sure, shoot," Alice replied, not picking up on her bother's aggravation.

Edward pitched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger as he started down at the ground to keep his cool. "Alone, please, Alice."

Alice nodded and she and Edward walked off to side just out of their friends' hearing.

"What do you think you are doing?" Edward snapped. "Trying to set me up with Jessica? Have you utterly lost your mind?"

Alice remained calm despite Edward's burst of exasperation. "We thought it would be good for you," she told him innocently.

"Good for me?" he mocked. He took a deep breath before continuing in order to help control his temper that was on the brim of erupting. When Edward continued, he struggled to keep his voice low and steady. "Alice, I don't think you understand. I came with of all you tonight because I just wanted to get my mind off things. All I wanted was to spend one stress free night with my closest friends and you have to go and do this. Why, Alice? And Jessica of all people!" Edward paused again. "You know better than anyone that the only person I want to be with is Bella."

Alice let out a loud sigh as the edges of her mouth turned down before she started her explanation. "It was mine and Rosalie's idea to ask Jessica to come tonight. We didn't want you to feel like the odd man out without Bella and all, considering I have Jasper and she has Emmett. The boys wanted to tell you so it wouldn't be a surprise but Rose and I convinced them not to. We thought you would get mad and not come with us." Alice looked at Edward, her eyes deeply apologetic. "I am sorry, Edward, truly I am. I just wanted to do something to help you. We all did. It hurts us all to see you so lonely."

Even though he knew he should hate all of his friends right now, Edward couldn't find it himself to be mad at Alice or anyone else for that matter after hearing his sister's reasoning. They were trying to help him, despite how bitter he had been toward them they still stood by his side. Even if they went about things the wrong way, they still always had good intentions. That moment, Edward realized just how important and how strong their friendships were.

He smiled slightly. "I forgive you, Alice. All of you had your hearts in the right places and I appreciate that. I owe you guys big time for everything you have done for me since well, you know."

Alice nodded, smiling now too. "Thanks. That's what friends are for." She stopped for a minute as she looked past Edward to look at Jessica who looked awkward as she struggled to strike up a conversation with Emmett, Jasper, and Rosalie. "So, shall I tell Jessica her dream date is over so soon?" she asked, trying to hold back a laugh.

Edward let out a low chuckle. "No, that's okay. I'll tell her, but I guess she can stay. I would feel kind of bad sending her home, even if she is obnoxious." He rolled his eyes.

"Alright, up to you," Alice said to him and they walked back to their group of friends.

Edward went up to Jessica, who was twirling and playing with her hair.

"Hey, um, Jessica," he said to her slowly, her eyes widely glowing. "I don't know what Alice told you but this isn't like a date or anything."

Jessica just looked at him, still smiling. "Yeah, sure, Edward, whatever you say. Let's juts go get our tickets, okay?"

Edward studied her with cautious before walking over to the ticket booth with Jessica trailing annoyingly close behind him. _Maybe it would have been easier to just tell her to leave_, he thought to himself.

"One ticket for Batman, please," Edward asked the movie theater employee behind the booth.

"Make that two," Jessica said abruptly to the employee as she pathetically batted her eyelashes at Edward.

_Oh you have got to be kidding me. Did I not just tell you this wasn't a date? Unbelievable_, he said to himself in his head. Edward sighed before speaking to the employee again. "Fine, make it two tickets." He gave the man his money and took his change and tickets.

As Edward handed Jessica her ticket, he spoke to her as kindly as he possibly could. "Jessica, I only paid for this ticket for you in the attempts to ask a favor of you."

Jessica looked up at him, scrunching her nose up in confusion. "Uh, what?"

"To _please_ give me my space tonight," he pleaded with her. "I already mentioned to you once that this is not a date nor do I want it to be. I apologize if I am sounding harsh, I don't mean to hurt your feelings in anyway, I assure you, but this is just the way it is."

It did not take long for a sudden burst of realization to fall upon Jessica's face. "This is about Bella, isn't it? You have feelings for her, don't you?" she asked.

Edward hesitated answering because even though he was glad Jessica understood, he didn't see why any of this was her business. Fortunately for him, Jessica realized this right after she spoke.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked that," she apologized, speaking quickly as she bit her lip in embarrassment.

Edward nodded once. "It's okay," he simply told her. They stood there for a moment in awkward silence, neither one of them not really knowing what to say to the other. Finally, after the first of Edward's friends got their tickets, Emmett and Rosalie come over to them.

"Come on, guys, the movie's going to start soon," Rosalie said to Edward and Jessica.

"Yeah, I want to catch the trailers before the movie starts. That's my favorite part," Emmett said. He looked at Rosalie, "You like the trailers, too, right, Rose?"

"Um, yeah, sure. It would be tragic for us to miss them because, you know, I want to waste fifteen minutes of my life on trailers," she replied, her voice obviously sarcastic, as she rolled her eyes. Once Emmett started to walk in front of Rosalie, she turned to Edward and whispered jokingly, "He is so weird." Edward laughed at the couple's lovingly humorous behavior.

Rosalie and Emmett had that kind of relationship where they could playfully tease and poke fun at each other, but loved each other enough to where neither one of them ever got offended because they did it all in good fun. To some extent, Bella and Edward's friendship was like that in the sense that they always joked around but never took any of it personally.

Edward found himself lost in thought once he took his seat in the theater and waited for the movie to begin. _She is absolutely adorable when she laughs. The way her cheeks get all flushed and her eyes get all teary from laughing so hard. And her smile! She is so beautiful. Oh and when …"_

His thoughts were interrupted as Emmett slapped his arm and said, "Hey, dude, it's starting," as the movie began. Edward reluctantly focused his attention to the movie since he had promised himself one guilt-free and stress less night with his friends.

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By the time Edward got home it was nearly 11 o'clock. Surprisingly enough, he actually found himself enjoying the movie most of time for it served to be a sufficient distraction for the night.

He took a quick shower and changed for bed. Every night Edward had hoped he would dream about Bella, but he never did for it was only the night of the accident that he dreamed her. Nonetheless, he always thought of her before falling asleep, praying that she would wake up.

This night, however, despite all his efforts and how exhausted he felt, Edward couldn't fall asleep. He felt restless and kept tossing and turning. Edward groaned as he checked the clock on his nightstand for the time. 1:24 AM. He took a deep breath but felt a tightness in chest, as though he was in a panic. He sat up in his bed and tried to catch his breath. _Something isn't right_, he thought,_ why can't I catch my breath?_

After a few minutes, Edward felt a little better but still couldn't shake off the unsettling feeling that coursed through his body. He wasn't sure how long it took, but eventually he managed to fall asleep. To his elation, Edward found himself dreaming about Bella. However, something did not feel right for he felt a strange feeling of déjà vu as the dream began to feel oddly familiar.

_Her whispered in her as he looked at the comatose Bella, "I am so sorry, for doing this to you, Bella, so sorry, for the accident, for everything. I know this is a lot to ask of you, but do you think that you could ever forgive me?" His voice gave away the nervousness his felt in asking her such a question but it also contained the lightest touch of hope. _

_Bella looked away from him as if it were a reflex to the question. She sighed, looking down once again at her comatose self before answering him. "It is not that simple, Edward."_

_Edward seemed perplexed by Bella's response since it was not at all what he was expected. "What do you mean?" he stammered. _

"_It is not up to me. I am merely Bella's subconscious". She still couldn't find it in her to look at him. "I can't make a conscious decision," Bella told him, her voice carefully guarded. She was hiding a dark truth, one that would break Edward's heart if she told him. There was no way she could tell him what she knew was going to happen even though it was only a matter of time before he found out. It was something that never crossed Edward's mind and probably never considered as a possible outcome. _

_The caution and defense in Bella's voice did not go unnoticed by Edward. "Ah, I see, but there is more. I can tell. There is something you are not telling me."_

_She knew she couldn't give into Edward's pleas. Telling him the truth was out of the question that was for sure. It was too much of a curve ball to throw him now everything has been through. He would just have to find out later rather than sooner. "Yes, you're right. But for right now, it is for the best. Please try to understand."_

_Edward just shook his head. He wanted to know whatever it was she had to saw, no matter how much it would hurt him. He had no idea how long it would be before he ever got to speak to Bella again, whether it was her subconscious or conscious self. "Bella, don't do this. Please just tell me whatever it is. Don't start keeping secrets from me now." _

_Bella sighed. She felt as though she should somehow prepare him for what was to come so Bella turned around to face Edward, taking his hands into hers. "I can't, Edward. But I will tell you this and I know it's going to hurt you to hear it but it's all that I can give you." She gulped as she prepared to deliver only a touch of the news that would break whatever was left of Edward's heart. The rest he would see for himself in time. Bella spoke softly in her most compassionate voice to try to lessen the blow, "Let's just say that things are going to get much worse before they get better." She ducked her head in sorrow, tears burning in her eyes once more._

"_Worse?" Edward said in shock, "How can things possibly get worse? I put you in a coma, Bella," his tone remorseful. Then panic set in as he realized things how easily things could get worse. All the possible scenarios quickly jogged through Edward's mind. Bella may never forgive him. Bella may never wake up from her coma. Bella may die. Edward tried to gain some control over his thoughts for he didn't want them to get the best of him. _

_Bella took Edward's face in her hands before speaking; the strength in her voice surprised her, "Listen, regardless of what happens I need you to stop blaming yourself for what was happened because no matter what I will never stop loving you. No matter how impossible that may seem to you, I swear to you that I never will. Even if it I don't seem to know it myself, it will always be true."_

Abruptly, Edward's eyes flew open and he felt covered in cold sweat. He replayed as much of the dream as he could remember over and over again in his head. He then realized why it felt so familiar. It was part of the dream he had the night of the accident. Nonetheless, what most boldly stood out was the fact that the Bella in his dream had told him that things were going to get much worse before things got better. In other words, something bad was going to happen.

As he tried to gather his thoughts, Edward still couldn't shake off that insistent disturbing feeling he felt before falling asleep. Only now, it felt much stronger than before. Then, a realizing notion came to his mind as all of the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. The flutters of panic he was experiencing, having part of the same dream he had the night of the accident, that feeling that something wasn't quite right. It all pointed in one direction. Something had gone wrong. Something had happened to Bella.

He quickly looked over at his clock more once. 3:43 PM. If he waited until 7, he could have his father take him to the hospital just to make sure everything was okay. But something inside Edward was telling he had to go now, that he shouldn't wait.

His Volvo had already been repaired from the accident so it wouldn't be like he would be using one of this parent's cars if he decided to drive there. The hospital wasn't far. Edward could be back before anyone even noticed he was gone. With that in mind, he hastily threw on some clothes and put on a pair of shoes. He quietly walked down the stairs so he wouldn't wake anyone up. Once downstairs, Edward grabbed his car keys and headed for his car.

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Edward made good time on arriving to the hospital _without_ speeding. He ran through the doors and headed for the elevator. However, he was stopped by security.

"I am sorry, sir," the security man told him, putting his hand out to stop Edward. "I can not let you go up there. It is passed visiting hours."

"Please," Edward said to him in a pleading voice. "I need to see someone. It is an emergency."

The security man raised an eyebrow, not completely sure if he believed Edward or not. "Oh, well in that case, you need to take this up with the front desk."

Edward nodded and walked over to the desk. The woman sitting there did not look familiar, probably because he didn't know any of the people who worked the night shift.

"Excuse me," he said kindly to the woman. "I need to see a patient. Yes, I know it is way after visiting hours, but I just need to make sure she is okay."

The woman's lips were pressed in a tight line. "What is the patient's name?" she asked coldly.

"Isabella Swan," Edward replied.

She typed the name into the computer, reading the information that came up on the screen. "Are you suppose to be meeting one of Miss Swan's family member's here to escort you upstairs to see her?" her expression still stern.

Edward furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Um, no, I am not meeting --" he said to her but was cut off before he could say anymore.

The woman behind the desk sighed in frustration. "Did you at least receive a phone call informing you that something was wrong?" She sounded even more annoyed than before.

Edward stumbled over his words. "Well, no, but you don't understand, you see, I really need to --"

"Then there is no point in you being here, is there?" she asked rhetorically, her voice harsh. "I simply can not let just anyone wander around here unless there is an emergency. And you, sir, obviously do not have an emergency. If you had been somehow notified that your presence was needed, then that would be a different story. But this is not the case. So I would greatly appreciate it if you left so I can handle more important situations."

Edward wasn't going to get anywhere with this woman, he knew that much. But there had to be a way to see Bella. All he wanted was to just see her for a second so he could have some peace of mind. Then suddenly, he had an idea.

"Can you just do me one favor and I will leave you alone," he asked of the lady behind the front desk.

She didn't respond but rather just stared at him, waiting for him to continue. He could see by the expression on her face that she felt he was wasting her time.

"Page Nurse Nadine Johnson for me," he requested, his voice soft but still urgent.

The woman glared at him. "You are wasting my time. I am not about to interrupt --," she started to say.

"Just page her!" Edward snapped. He felt his temper raging but, even more strongly, he felt the panic washing over him once more. There was no doubt in his mind now that something wasn't right.

After a moment of silence, the stubborn woman gave him. "Fine," she mumbled, yet her tone still sharp, as she dialed the phone and requested Nurse Johnson to come down to the lobby.

It took just a few minutes for Nadine to come down to the lobby. She noticed Edward pacing in front of the front desk right away.

"Edward, what's wrong? Did something happen to Bella?" she asked as she quickly hurried over.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. But I have this horrible feeling that something is wrong and no one is letting me go see her. Have you heard if her condition has changed or anything?" His eyes grew sad as he assumed the worse.

Nurse Johnson shook her head. "I am not sure. I have been working in the ER all night. I can bring you to her room but I can't stay. The ER is packed tonight."

Edward felt a small breath of relief. He nodded feverishly. "That's fine. That is all I want. Thank you so much, Nadine. You have no idea how much this means to me."

Nadine gave him one of her small, positive smiles. "Thanks. I always try my best. Now come on, let's go."

She took him up to Bella's floor but left to go back to the ER once they got off the elevator. As soon as Edward turned the corner in the hallway to reach Bella's room, he knew something was wrong for sure. As he walked closer, Edward could see Charlie and a doctor he did not recognize standing outside her room in the hall. Charlie spoke first when Edward approached them.

"Edward, what are you doing here?" Charlie asked, stammering over the words as though he had been caught off guard. Bella's father and Edward still weren't on the best of terms since the accident but was slowly becoming more civil towards Edward. He still, however, had not verbally forgiven him.

"I don't know exactly," Edward told him quietly. "Something just told me to come here to make sure she was okay. Like a gut feeling, you know?"

Charlie's eyes darted around nervously and flashed to the doctor and back to Edward. Yet, he didn't say anything else to Edward.

Edward took this as a bad sign. "She is okay, right?" he asked Charlie, his voice panicky and full of worry.

Charlie gulped and took a deep breathe before answering. "I think you should go, Edward. This isn't a good time," he said flatly.

Edward stubbornly shook his head. _How can he expect me to leave without seeing her? Something is clearly wrong. What if she . . . oh, god . . . no, no, I can't think like that_, Edward thought to himself.

"What happened, Charlie, just tell me. I am not going until you tell me. I have a right to know," Edward insisted as he struggled to keep his voice steady.

Charlie gave him a small nod but waited a minute to gather himself before speaking. "Okay, there has been a complication."

Edward stood frozen in place for he was right, something had gone wrong. "What kind of complication?" his voice breaking halfway through. That was when he heard it. The voice. _Her_ voice.

"Daddy, whose out there?" Bella softly called out, her voice low and almost strained.

Edward could hear his heart pounding loudly in his chest just at the sound of her voice, something he thought he may never hear again. He felt as though he would burst, but from what emotion he was not sure. _She is awake!_, was all he could think of as he felt filled with exuberant happiness beyond anything he had ever felt before in his life. Never before had Edward felt as though he had such a purpose in life, something to live for. Yet, on the other hand, he hadn't expected this, not tonight anyways.

Suddenly, Edward couldn't remember all the things he planned to say to Bella when woke up. Everything he had recited over and over again in his head was gone. He felt overwhelmed with panic all of a sudden. What was he going to tell her? Where was he even supposed to begin explaining everything? How do you tell the person you love more than life itself that it's your fault they nearly died?

Before Edward could move or say anything, he heard a male voice answer Bella's question.

"It's no one, Bella. Don't worry about it, just rest."

What bothered Edward was that it wasn't Charlie who answered her. It was someone inside her room. He couldn't wait any longer, Edward had to see her. He pushed past Charlie and the doctor and entered her room.

Edward couldn't take his eyes off of her. He knew he was probably making her feel uncomfortable by just staring but he couldn't help himself. He couldn't help but smile because there she was. Bella sat up in the bed right before him, eyes open and awake. _As beautiful as ever_, Edward thought. She looked a little pale and her eyes were slightly droopy but nothing that wasn't unexpected.

As he stood there analyzing her, Edward realized, she hadn't said a word to him since he entered the room. It wasn't until he looked deep into eyes that he saw that she looked so scared and fragile, more so then he had ever seen her before. Bella looked almost frightened of him. Then it dawned on him. What if she already knew he was the reason she was in the hospital? What if Charlie or someone else told how everything that happened that day? Edward would have to explain everything to her. Make her believe that it was an accident and nothing more. Make her understand he loved her more than his own life and couldn't ever dream of purposely hurting her.

"Bella?" Edward said to her, his voice shaking, low, and dry.

He waited for a response but she said nothing. Had he imagined hearing her voice? _No, that's impossible. I know I heard her speak. And she is right in front of me, awake. So why isn't she saying anything?_

Bella's eyes stared incredulously at Edward. She studied him from head to toe as though she was looking for something specific. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it, not saying anything.

Edward took another step closer towards her. He spoke very quietly and softly, yet still somewhat shaky from nervousness. "It is okay, Bella. It's just me. You don't have to be afraid."

She looked up at him again, her head cocked to the side like she was puzzled or confused. Then she finally spoke. "Who are you?" she asked timidly, her tone hesitant.

Reality hit Edward like a ton of bricks. _Who I am? What does she mean? Is she asking me what kind of horrible person I am for doing this to her?_, he thought as questions raced through his mind. But then he remembered what Charlie had told him. _"There has been a complication,"_ Edward had been told.

In that moment everything fell into place. His dream of Bella telling him things were going to get worse. The feeling in his gut that something wasn't right. This complication. Now, Edward saw. He now realized what had gone wrong. He thought quietly to himself as he looked at Bella. _She doesn't remember me_, he tried to swallow the emotion that was building up once again in his throat. _Bella doesn't remember me because she can't remember. She has lost her memory._

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Woah, dude, super long chapter lol. But like I promised in the note at the end of my last chapter, there definitely was a surprise. Bella woke up! Things should get real interesting now lol. I was going to make the end of this chapter more of a cliffhanger by ending when Edward hears her voice but I thought that would have been mean to my readers so I wrote a bit more. But who do you think the male's voice coming from Bella's room belongs to? I didn't want to give it away in this chapter because I wanted Edward to be so focused on Bella that he didn't notice anything or anyone else but her. So, you will just have to wait until the next chapter to find out what happens next and who the mystery man is lol. I hope you were pleased with this chapter and I can't wait to hear what you have to say in your reviews.


	12. Chapter 12: Falling Apart

Okay, so I first want to start off by thanking all of my awesome reviewers! I can't believe that this story had made so many people cry lol. I will admit that I cried when I was writing some parts of this story, too. Anyways, I am working really hard to stay on top of updating, even with school and all lol. This is an especially busy time for me since I am applying for college and have tons of applications to fill out. That has pretty much taken up my life for the past few weeks but now that I am almost done, I have more time on hands. Again, I apologize because I haven't updated in way over a month. But I hope this chapter makes up for it. I worked very hard on it. Enjoy!

Chapter 12: Falling Apart

Edward was trembling in response to the shock . _No, this can not be happening_, he thought to himself. _No, not to my Bella. She doesn't deserve this! Someone as loving and as gentle as her shouldn't have to go through this._ He couldn't fathom how the moment he had been so eagerly awaiting for the past months had now turned into a nightmare.

Edward couldn't move nor could he find the strength to talk without completely falling apart. But then he heard her sweet voice again when she spoke once more.

"Do I know you?" Bella asked her, scrunching her eyebrows together in curiosity.

Edward stared at her, his eyes burning with watery sadness, as he bit down hard on his lower lip. _Of course you know me. You just don't know that you know me_, he said to himself as he struggled to take everything that was happening in.

"Well aren't you going to answer her or are you just going to stand there?" the same male voice Edward had heard while he was staying out in the hall. He looked over to the corner of the room and found its source. Jacob. _Of course it would be you._

Jacob moved from his position of leaning against the wall and walked up to the Bella's bed, the side opposite of where Edward was standing. Edward didn't response to him or his question but rather ignored him in silence, pretending as though Jacob wasn't there.

Edward felt as though all energy had been drained from his body as a result of the shock. He was still in disbelief. All he could think was that this couldn't be happening. He fell back into the chair he had sat in so many times beside Bella's bed. He buried his face in his hands, just waiting for the misery and guilt to get the best of him.

Jacob chuckled softly at the sight, realizing Edward wasn't playing along with whatever games he had up his sleeves.

Jacob let out a loud, over dramatic sigh. "If you are just going to take up space, Cullen, you might as well leave," he said in a bossy manner. "You weren't even asked to be here."

This made Edward look up at him and acknowledge his presence. "What are you talking about?" he asked him. His voice was low, barely loud enough to hear, and pained.

Jacob rolled his eyes. "Well I don't randomly wander around hospitals in the early hours of the morning. Not like _some_ people I know. Charlie called me," he explained, annoyed that he even had to explain himself to Edward.

Edward turned to face Charlie, who was standing in the threshold of Bella's room, looking at his daughter who was calmly resting now.

"You called Jacob," Edward murmured quietly to Charlie. He said it as a statement rather than a question since it somehow didn't quite surprise him.

Charlie looked away, his eyes ashamed. "Yes, I did," he admitted to Edward. "I thought it would be for the best."

Edward let out a light scoff, shaking his head. "Of course, why am I not surprised? I have only been here everyday to visit her, to try to somehow make up for what I did, but I guess that counts for nothing. But why should I matter when there is _Jacob_, the self-righteous jerk who puts himself on a pedestal above everyone else, to come to the rescue," he lashed out, but not loud enough to disturb Bella's mild slumber. Charlie didn't say anything to Edward and neither did Jacob.

Edward waited a couple of moments for his anger to subside before speaking again. All that mattered right now was Bella.

"How bad is it?" Edward asked Charlie in a monotone voice.

Charlie let out a deep breath before going into detail about his daughter's condition. "The doctors said that the memory loss is temporary. At least, they hope, anyway. They said it could a few days, weeks, months even, before her memory returns." Charlie shook his head for he still couldn't believe that something like this could happen to his daughter. "But on the bright side, she has no permanent brain damage so the rest of her should work just fine."

Edward clenched his jaw tightly as he tried to take everything in. He sat in the chair, staring at Bella as she rested, her eyelids softly fluttering with her light breaths. His heart broke. This should have been the moment where he could have made everything right between them. This should have been the time for him to tell her everything he had ever wanted. But now, it was a nightmare. Edward thought back to his dream. _"Let's just say that things are going to get much worse before they get better,"_ his dream Bella had told him.

_Worse is an understatement_, Edward thought to himself. _I have taken everything away from her. It is because of me that she can't remember. All her precious memories gone because of what I did. I don't deserve her love. Who am I kidding? I have nothing to give her, nothing to offer her that could make this go away. If anything, I owe her the truth. Yes, that much I can give her. The truth that this is my fault and that I will stay away from her so can never hurt her again._

The selfish part of Edward's brain protested against his decision. _And what about you?_ he asked himself. _How will you go on without her in your life?_

Edward thought about it for a moment but I didn't take him long to see the answer. _I don't know. It will be torture for me but that's not important. She deserves better. Bella would be better off without me. If my decision to walk away from her will make her safe, both physically and emotionally, then I will have no choice regardless of much it will hurt me._

He knew what he had to do now. Edward had to do it fast before he changed his mind and gave into his selfish side. "Can I just have one minute alone with her?" he asked of Charlie and Jacob, although he didn't look at either one directly. "Just one moment alone and then I will go. Please."

Charlie nodded in agreement. "Okay, fine. Come on, Jacob," as he gestured his arm to the hall so that Edward and Bella could be alone.

Once everyone else left the room, Edward scooted his chair so he was closer to Bella's bedside. She was still resting and he hated to wake her up but he knew that if he didn't do this know, he may never would. He gently brought his hand up to Bella's cheek and caressed it softly, savoring every second since it may be that last time he would ever get to touch her like this.

He took a deep breath before speaking. "Bella," he whispered, just loud enough to ease her out of her light slumber, the name burning in this back of his throat due to the nerves that were telling him not to do what he was about to.

Her eyelids lifted up to reveal her large, kind eyes. "Yes?" she asked quietly.

Before Edward had time to formulate his words the way he wanted to, Bella spoke again. "Oh it's you again," she said casually as she took in his familiar appearance. "You never told me who you were before."

The edges of Edward's mouth turned downwards even more as he slowly nodded. "I apologize for that," he muttered. He wasn't even sure if Bella heard him since he had spoken so low. "I'm Edward," he said to her, not having the courage to look her in eyes.

A peculiar expression fell upon Bella's face. Edward struggled to figure out what emotion was behind it. "Edward Cullen?" she asked him anxiously.

Edward's heart started to pound faster in his chest so loudly he thought she would be able to hear it. _She knows who I am?! She remembers?!_

Nonetheless, Edward couldn't help but give her a small smile as he sandwiched one of her hands between both his. Once again, he found himself to absorbed in happiness and surprised to figure out the "how's" and "why's". "Yes, Bella, it's me," he said to her, relieved and overjoyed.

Bella's eyes grew wide and she softly bit on her pink lower lip. "Oh my god," she murmured under her as her eyes darted nervously back and forth.

Edward sighed with relief. _She sees it's me now. She remembers! _"Oh Bella," he said to her as brought her hand up to his cheek. He closed his eyes to focus his attention completely on the feel of her touch against his skin. He let out an airy burst of relieved laughter. "You have no idea how scared I was for you, Bella. You have no idea. I thought I lost you. And I can't even describe how much I missed ---"

Bella quickly pulled her hand away, causing Edward to stop mid-sentence. "What are you doing? Let go!" she panicked, her eyes still wide. When Edward looked deeper into Bella's eyes, he saw something in them he failed to notice before. There was fear hidden behind her eyes. He couldn't understand why Bella was acting like this.

"Wh-wh-what's wr-wrong?" he asked her, stumbling over his words as fear choked him.

Bella sat up in her bed and moved towards the edge of the bed so she was farther away from Edward. She was careful when she scooted over as though not to pull out her IVs or disconnect herself from her heart monitor.

"Please, go away," she begged, her eyes starting to swell up with tears. "I know what happened! I know that _you_ did this to me! You are the reason why everything feels so messed up and why I can't remember!"

Edward flinched back in agony at her words. He was left speechless. The feeling like his heart had been ripped out of his chest was overbearing.

Somehow, Edward had no idea how but he managed to form a sentence. "Who told you that?" he asked flatly. He was too hurt to speak with any sort of emotion.

"Jacob," Bella snapped. "He told me everything."

_The Jacob version of everything, I'm sure_, he thought to himself. Edward didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. He could deny it, of course, but he couldn't lie to her. And besides, his intention was to tell her the truth. Edward wanted to tell her how deeply sorry he was, more sorry than words could describe, for everything and that he wasn't going to hurt her anymore, that he had made the choice to walk out of her life for good since in his eyes it would be best for Bella.

Bella took in a deep breath. "So it's true then, isn't it?" She sounded almost disappointed, as though she had been hoping that Edward would deny it or say it wasn't his fault.

Edward looked up at her, his eyes pleading and anguished. This wasn't going to way he had planned. Edward had wanted to be the one to tell her what had honestly happened so she could know the truth. _She wasn't supposed to already know. Damn you, Jacob. _"It was an accident, Bella. Please I need you to understand that. If you would just listen and let me explain, you would see –"

Bella's fervently shaking head caused him to stop speaking. The words he wanted to say got stuck in his throat and he struggled to breathe as he felt a tightening in his chest. "No, Edward," she told him. "I don't want to hear it. It's not going to change anything anyway. It's too late now." Bella was longer even looking at Edward. She had turned her head to face the other way.

Just at the sound of her words and the meaning of them, Edward felt the numbness he had felt in his heart turn into full blown agonizing heart break. He couldn't leave things this way with her. He could not let their friendship end this way. Having a romantic future with Bella was the last thing on his mind at the moment. If Edward couldn't save whatever they had now as just friends, then there would be nothing left at all.

Edward attempted to clear his throat of the accumulating emotions. "Please, Bella, I'm begging you. I just want to make things right between us. I can't end our friendship like this. All I am asking is –"

That was when he saw a single tear roll down Bella's cheek. She quickly wiped it away with her hand and closed her eyes tight to stop anymore further tearing. The desire Edward felt to comfort was more like a powerful need rather than a want. But he knew he couldn't do anything. He couldn't wrapped her up in his arms and tell her everything was going to be okay.

As Edward watched a few more tears overflow from Bella's eyes, he saw what he had to do. He had to leave because he was doing what he had said he would never do to her again, hurt her. He slowly got out of the chair, fighting back against the pain in his chest from holding back his emotions that were threatening to tear him apart.

"Okay, if that's what you want," he said slowly to her. "Then I will," he took a deep breath before speaking the last word, "leave."

Bella didn't say anything to him but nodded her head, which she held in her hands as the tears begin to flow profusely.

_You can't do anything_, Edward thought to himself. _It isn't your place to comfort her. Not anymore._

He walked towards the door but turned around before leaving. Edward looked at her one last time, taking in every inch of her as though he was seeing her the last time. With one last glance Bella's way, he left.

Edward took the elevator downstairs and walked through the lobby. As he walked past the rows of seats, Jacob, who was sitting next to Charlie, stood up with an arrogant smirk on his face

"Wow, that was fast," Jacob he called out to Edward.

Edward turned around to face him but didn't walk closer to him since he didn't care if anyone else heard him. "I hope you burn in hell," he retorted sharply at him before walking out the door.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Edward sped home, not even caring if he made it back in one piece. At one point, he even saw the speedometer reach one hundred miles per hour. When he pulled into the driveway, he could see that through the window all the lights in the house were turned on.

"Great," he muttered under his breath as he got out of the car and walked into the house.

When he walked into the kitchen, he saw his mother and father sitting on opposite sides of the table. Esme had her head in her hands while the look on Carlisle's face was panic stricken. Edward couldn't help but feel guilty for causing all the horrible possibilities that were running through his parents' mind. He couldn't even look them in the eye so he had to stare at the floor.

Esme came running over to him, tears filling up her eyes. "Oh, Edward, I was so worried," she told him, her voice thick with relief and overwhelming emotion, as she embraced him tightly.

It told a moment for Edward to react and hug her back, but he did. "I'm sorry, Mom," he said softly but he sounded distracted because he couldn't keep his mind off Bella and how he had lost her, how he couldn't convince her that everything was an accident, how he never got to tell her he loved her.

Esme pulled back from the hug so she could see her son's face. "When I saw that your car was gone, I thought you had ran away," Esme explained, shaking her head. "I wouldn't know what I would do if had ran away."

Edward wanted to give his mother a reassuring smile but he felt too numb on the inside to do so. Instead, he softly patted her on the back. "I wouldn't leave you, Mom. I promise."

Esme smiled up at him. "Thank you. I know it was silly to think you would do such a thing. Worry just got the best of me, I guess. Now why don't you go back to bed and try to sleep a little bit more. It is very late. We can talk more in the morning"

Before Edward could say anything, Carlisle, who had sat in silence during the entire conversation, stood up, his expression torn between mad and disbelief.

"That's it?" Carlisle lashed out at Esme. "You aren't even going to ask him where he went. You are just going to send him off to bed."

Esme let out a low sigh. "We can talk to him in the morning, Carlisle. Edward is home now and that's all that matters."

Carlisle tightly clenched his jaw. "Esme," he said slowly. "Our son leaves in the middle of the night, no explanation, and takes the car to god knows where when he wasn't even allowed to drive. How do you expect me to just be okay with this?"

"I went to the hospital, okay," Edward interrupted, his voice sounding almost breathless as he felt the guilt building up inside him again. He took a deep breath before continuing. "I woke up in the middle night and I had a feeling something was wrong. I didn't say anything to anyone because I knew you wouldn't let me leave. But I just had to see her. I had to know if …" The emotions became too strong. Rehashing everything now made it all too real.

The pain on Edward's face did not go unnoticed by Esme. "Well was everything all right? Is Bella okay?" she asked in a concerned tone.

"She's awake," he responded flatly.

Esme's eyes lit up in happiness as she brought her hand up to her mouth in surprise. "Edward, that's wonderful."

Carlisle, however, picked up on Edward's morose tone, changing his focus from Edward to Bella's condition.

"Were there any repercussions from the coma?" Carlisle asked in a concerned tone.

Edward scoffed. "Does the fact that she may have a permanent case of amnesia count?" Before Carlisle or Esme could get a word in, Edward snapped again. "But wait it gets better," he added sharply with heavy sarcasm. "Jacob was already there so he had already told me off to Bella. So, when I tried to explain everything to her, she didn't even want to listen." Edward shock in head. "She hates me," he added grimly.

"I'm sure she doesn't hate you, Edward," Esme said, trying to console him.

"No, you wouldn't know, you weren't there," he lashed back. "She was hysterical crying, telling me to leave." The excruciating pain was evident in his eyes.

Before anyone else could get a word in, Edward threw his hands up in the air, as though he was surrendering. "I can't talk about this anymore," he said coldly. He stormed off and headed for the stairs to go to his room.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Just go over and talk to her," Emmett suggested.

"No."

"It's been like three weeks since you last spoke to her at the hospital that night," Jasper added.

"Doesn't matter."

"You never know, she might listen this time," said Rosalie.

"She won't."

"You are such a masochist," Alice stated.

"I know."

It was the same thing everyday at lunch ever since Bella returned to school once the doctors said it was okay, Jasper, Emmett, Alice, and Rosalie trying to convince Edward to talk to Bella but he was as stubborn as could be. He had convinced himself that the best thing he could do for Bella if he truly loved her was to stay away from her. If Edward isolated himself from her, he couldn't hurt her again.

But the separation turned out to be more unbearable than Edward expected. Yes, of course, he was ready to feel the agony of a broke heart, but not this. Words couldn't describe Edward's bleeding heart. Every time he saw Bella in school, the distressing and tortuous anguish stunned him as hard as the time before. Edward felt as though he was living in hazy because it still felt so unreal to see Bella walking around, talking, smiling, laughing . . . and he wasn't a part of it.

Edward looked up from staring at his lunch and gave in into his temptation to take a glance over at Bella. Before Edward could speak of what he saw, Emmett spoke his thoughts.

"Yeah, she's sitting by herself today," Emmett said nonchalantly.

Edward's nostrils flared in anger. "Why?!" he demanded. "Where are _they_? Why isn't she sitting with _them_?" he asked, appalled.

Everyday Bella had sit with Jacob at lunch, along with Embry, Sam, Emily, and Leah. Of course, Edward was the furthest thing from happy with this, but gave him some comfort to know that at least she wasn't alone.

"I haven't seen them all day. Jacob and Sam weren't in my English class today," Jasper responded. "Maybe they all skipped school today to start the weekend early or something."

Edward sighed. "Yeah, maybe," he mumbled.

No one said anything after that and the table was silent for a short moment, for everyone was waiting for Edward's expected response.

"How could they do that to Bella? Just leave her alone?" Edward said, rushing through the words. "She is still so fragile and . . . I don't know," trailing off while shaking his head.

Rosalie pursed her lips tightly together. "Okay, Edward, I don't mean to get all up in your business with this because god knows how stubborn you are and you don't like talking about it but seriously, I am sick and tired of you acting like this."

Edward automatically opened his mouth to retort but Rosalie cut him off.

"Just let me finish before you bit my head off," she told him, putting her hand out to signal him to stop taking. " I understand why you are pissed off and depressed. Okay? I get that. But you are doing nothing about it. Day after day you sit here moping around, hopelessly staring at Bella. Just get up off your ass and go talk to her. If you truly want her, you have to go after her. Yes, I know you have this whole theory about staying away from here to keep her safe and all that. But let's face it, it's not working."

Edward could no longer look Rosalie in the heads because he couldn't deny anything she was saying because it was all true.

Rosalie took a breath before continuing in a calmer voice, less harsh. "Just look at yourself, Edward. I have never seen you like this before. I don't know if it's just me but you seem even worse than you were than when Bella was in a coma. You just look so_ heartbroken_. It is so clear in your eyes that you are in so much pain. If it's hurting _you_ this much, imagine what it's doing to _her_."

Edward looked down as he spoke. "It is not the same for her. She doesn't love me, she hates me so of course she's not going to feel this," he struggled to find the right word, "this _pain_."

"How do you know that?" Rosalie questioned, her lips pressed into a tight line.

"Because I . . ." Edward started.

"Did you ask her?" she pushed.

"Well I haven't gotten to ask her much about anything, Rosalie," Edward said, finally snapping.

"Yes! That's exactly my point!" Rosalie exclaimed. "You are assuming everything. I just want you to think something for one minute. How would you feel if Bella was experiencing the same emptiness, the same heartbreak you are? I know you see it as an impossibility but what if there was the smallest chance she is feeling exactly what you are? Would you want to take that risk?"

The thought made Edward flinch. He could never imagine wishing what he was feeling upon anyone. But to picture Bella feeling the same hallow, emptiness he felt in his heart was just unbearable.

Rosalie could tell from Edward's contemplative expression that she had hit a soft spot and that he was taking into consideration what she had just brought up. She knew that mentioning the possibility that Bella might be hurting would be enough to convince him to do something.

"Maybe I should try again," Edward finally whispered in a low voice.

Rosalie sighed in relief. "Thank you. Just try, that's all."

Edward nodded his head slowly. "Okay." For a short moment, Edward saw everything he wanted, everything he dreamed of: him and Bella holding hands, laughing, kissing, smiling, loving each other. For that one second, he saw it all and for the first time since he couldn't remember when, he felt hope.

"I'm going to go do it," Edward said in a firm voice as he got out of his chair and headed towards Bella, feeling the blazing determination in his eyes.

XXXXXXXXXX

Whew! Another pretty long chapter lol. I actually intended to make it longer but I figured that since you have waited so long for an update that something would be better than nothing. And besides, I will now have more time to work on the upcoming conversation between Edward and Bella so it will be better than it would have been if I had put it in this chapter. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and didn't cry too much (I always get reviews saying that people have cried when they read this story. I must say, it's flattering to know that my writing can cause the reader so much emotion. I really appreciate it.) So that's all for now. Please review and I hope to have the next chapter up soon.


	13. Chapter 13: Picking Up the Pieces

Okay, so I pretty much deserve the worst updater award since it has been almost three months. I am soo sorry. First my laptop broke and I was without it for well over a month and then I had surgery. But regardless, I have not forgotten about this story, nor do I plan on stopping until I finish it. As a matter of fact, I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning to write this entire chapter for all you from start to finish (and that is saying something since I am never able to write a whole chapter in one night lol) because you are all such great devoted readers. To all my readers, thank you so much for taking the time to read this story, whether you review or not. You have no idea how much it means to me. And to all my amazingly awesome reviewers, I take all of them to heart and appreciate all your wonderful comments and helpful criticism. I am truly grateful to all of you and I didn't want any of you to think I am neglecting you. But anyways, enough talking and on with the story. Here is the long awaited conversation between Bella and Edward since the accident. I hope you enjoy it and please review with your thoughts. Thanks a bunch!

Chapter 13: Picking up the Pieces

As Edward walked across the lunch room, he focused in on Bella, who was staring down at lunch, pushing it around with a fork.

Edward walked over to the table and stood across from Bella. She was either too lost in thought as she stared downwards or was just ignoring him, but either way she didn't acknowledge his presence.

"Bella," he said to her breathlessly. He couldn't understand why he sounded so out of breath. _Must be the nerves_, he figured.

Bella's head jerked up suddenly. It seemed as though Edward had caught her by surprise, so he ruled out the possibility that she was purposely ignoring him.

She looked at him with disbelief for the shortest second that Edward wasn't sure if he really saw it because her expression changed to indifference so quickly. "Hello," she said to him calmly and flatly.

Edward suddenly felt so out of place, like he didn't know what to do with himself. He tried to act as naturally as possible by casually running his fingers through his disheveled hair as he gestured to the chair beside him with his other hand.

"Do you mind if I sat down with you?" he asked Bella in a low and serious voice.

Bella shrugged as she turned her attention back to her food. "You can sit if you want," she mumbled back in reply.

Edward hesitated for a moment due to Bella's complete lack of interest but he knew he couldn't run away now. With that in mind, he pulled the chair out and sat across from Bella at the table. He folded his hands together in front of him to stop them from shaking due to the overwhelming feeling of nervousness that was taking over him.

After a long, dragged out moment of silence, Edward finally spoke.

"So . . . ," he struggled to find something to say. "How are you feeling?"

Bella didn't answer at first, nor did she look up at him. She just continued to push her food around her plate. Edward examined her closely, trying to gauge her emotions but couldn't pick up anything. She felt so distant. After a few seconds Bella sighed, pushed the plate away, and looked up to meet Edward's eyes.

"I am fine," she told him firmly.

Edward felt a confused expression fall upon his face as sadness washed over him. He guessed that a part of him was hoping she would say that wasn't okay so that he could be there to pick up the pieces. _She has amnesia, how can she just say she's fine? Ugh, I am being selfish again. Selfish! Selfish! Selfish!_ But she was okay. Then Edward's worst fear settled into his mind. _Maybe she doesn't need me after all_.

"Oh, um, I see," he said flatly to her.

Bella gave him no response. She just stared at him as though she was looking for something, but then looked away as if she couldn't find it. She looked almost disappointed in a way. At this moment, Edward realized that he had been fooling himself. Bella was moving on with her life without him and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He had passed on too many opportunities to be with her and now it was too late. Edward had his chance but now it was gone. The corners of Edward's mouth turned down along with his head for he couldn't bear to see that disenchanted look on her face. He shook his head with the edges of his mouth turned downward and stared down at the table.

Bella cocked her head slightly to the side, her eyebrows furrowed, as she studied Edward's countenance. "What is it?"

Edward couldn't find it in him to face her. "Nothing, it's nothing," his voice barely above a whisper.

Bella didn't question him any further; she just accepted his answer with a simple nod. Neither one of them said anything for next minutes. The both sat in silence, each wondering what the other was thinking.

Edward let out a sigh. He was determined not to give up this easily on her this easily. However, Bella didn't seem too interesting in even trying to hold a conversation with him. _I already came here to do what I set out to do. I made sure she was okay, and she is. Maybe I am bothering her by trying to talk to her. I bet she just wants me to leave her alone. I guess I couldn't blame her._

"Am I bothering you?" Edward mindlessly blurted out. _My mind can never function properly around her, can it?_, he instantly thought to himself afterwards.

Bella's expression suddenly turned intense and contemplative. She sounded as though she thought her words out carefully before speaking.

"No," she responded slowly, "not you per say."

Edward hesitated slightly. "I am not sure if I understand what you mean exactly."

Bella bit softly down on her lower lip before answering as she ducked her eyes to avoid contact. "Youaren't bothering me as much as you being _mad_ at me bothers me." A faint crimson glow flushed over Bella's cheeks.

In that second, Edward noticed two things. First, he saw her blush and that alone was enough to make him smile. It had felt like so long that he had almost forgotten how becoming it was on her. The second thing, which didn't fully sink in right away was the fact that Bella thought Edward mad at her.

_Mad? She thinks I am mad at her? _Edward couldn't wrap his mind around the simple word to come up with a logical reason as to why Bella could possibly think he was mad at involuntarily let at a small burst of laughter due to the impossibility of the situation but quickly gained composure.

"I'm sorry. I must have heard you incorrectly. Did you say that you think I am mad at you?" he questioned to make sure his ears weren't deceiving him.

Bella stared blankly at him. "Well, yeah," she stated as if it were completely obvious.

Edward shook his head in disbelief. None of this made sense to him and this conversation was definitely not going the way he planned. He was prepared to beg and grovel for her forgiveness if need be, to savage somewhat of their friendship, but he was not expecting Bella to think he was mad at her.

"Bella, I am not mad at you," he told her earnestly. "I have no reason to be, but you on the other hand . . ." he trailed off for a moment. "You have plenty reason to be angry with me."

Bella retorted. "But I yelled at you. I am blamed you for everything and you haven't spoken to me in weeks. You _have_ to be mad at me."

He understood now. She thought he was holding a grudge against her for freaking out on him that night at the hospital. _I was scared, Bella_, he wanted to tell her. _I was didn't want to hurt you anymore._ But the words got stuck in his throat. Again.

"I am not mad at you," he repeated to her.

"Then why talk to me now?" Bella said to Edward, her voice a little louder than before.

Edward let out a deep breath before attempting to explain.

"Like I said, Bella, you have plenty of reason to be mad at _me_. I saw the hurt in your eyes that night and I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't keep hurting you," he paused briefly to hold himself together as his mind brought up images of Bella crying in the hospital bed telling him to leave. "I just thought it was for the best. But I was never mad at you."

Bella looked at him, her eyes wide with sympathy as she listened to his heartfelt confession. "I never knew you felt that way," her voice slightly hushed.

Edward broke a small smile. "Well how could you?" he asked rhetorically.

"Listen, Edward," Bella began as she shifted herself so that she was leaning more towards him from across the table, "I owe an apology for how acted when we . . . that night at the hospital. I had just woken up and to be quite honest, it all feels like a blur. I just remember waking up and not knowing where I was, how I got there, or who anyone was. The doctors had just diagnosed me with amnesia. And then . . ." her voice broke.

Edward could see how difficult it was for her to talk about this. He instinctively reached his hands out to touch hers to comfort her but she had tucked them away under the table before he could reach them.

"It's okay, Bella, you don't have to . . . " he started but she continued on anyway as if he hadn't spoken.

"And then I overheard Jacob and my dad. I heard them talking about a car crash and head trauma. Then they said your name," she stared deep into his glistening green eyes. "Edward Cullen," she said his name slowly to stress and enunciate each syllable distinctly. He loved the way his name sounded whenever it flowed out of her mouth. Her cheeks turned a light crimson and she squeezed her eyes shut tight as though to hold back tears.

Edward didn't let go of her gaze, holding for as long as he could. He felt countless emotions running through him and between them. Relief. Sadness. Fear. Joy. He let Bella finish her side of what happened that night.

She rushed the words out as quickly as possible. "The next thing I know, you are in room. So, when you told me who were I freaked out. I just completely and totally panicked. I don't remember what I told you but you looked so hurt, just so sad. I only recalled that later though. At the time I was just too emotionally unstable and I just wanted you to go away. I wanted to be alone, but I . . ." she stopped suddenly out of breath.

Edward didn't want her to go any further seeing how wearisome it was for her. "Don't, Bella," he said to her in a low voice. "You don't have to explain yourself to me like this. I just need to know one thing."

"What?" she asked.

He took a deep breath before speaking. "I need to know if you can forgive for me. Just . . . just for everything."

Bella gave him a sweet smile, the edges of her mouth turning up just the tiniest bit but enough to make his heart leap. "It was an accident, Edward. I know that."

Edward was taken back by this. "You do?" disbelief evident in his voice.

Bella nodded. "Jake finally admitted it after a while. He did originally tell me it was on purpose but . . .," she trailed off, shaking her head. "I don't know. I saw you everyday at school and you just didn't seem like that type of person that would do something like that."

One of the corners of Edward's lips turned up a little before turning very serious. "Your right, I am not that type of person. I would _never_ intentionally hurt you, emotionally, physically, or any which way. I admit that I mess up a lot, but it's not at all on purpose. I swear." That's when he felt the tightness build up in his throat again. He was afraid it wasn't going to be able to get the rest of it out but it couldn't let that happen. He had to fight it.

Edward leaned in towards the table, staring very deeply into her eyes with a burning intensity. His voice was very low and controlled when he spoke. "You so very important to me, Bella. More than anything."

Bella quickly looked away, her cheeks flushed. For a moment she looked almost embarrassed but hid it with a light air of laughter. She then looked at him with her head turned slightly to the side. "We were good friends, weren't we? Before all of this," she asked unknowingly.

"Yes," he whispered softly to her. "We still can be."

Bella's eyes darted around nervously as she gently bit down on her lower lip. Seeing the hesitation in her eyes, Edward quickly added, "If you want to, that is." He tried to sound as honest as possible but he knew that last part didn't sound too convincing.

She mustered up somewhat of a smile but she seemed distracted by some other though far off in her mind. "Oh I don't know, Edward. I mean, things have changed. _I_ have changed."

Edward wasn't going to let this go that easily. "Well can't we just at least try, Bella," he persisted, trying to sound optimistic. "We have known each other all our lives and maybe if we spend some time together your memory might start to come back."

"It's not that," Bella disagreed, "it's just what, well, Jacob doesn't like you . . . at all."

Edward nodded but didn't fully comprehend what she was trying to get at by bring that up. "Yeah, well the feeling is mutual but I don't see what that has to do with anything."

Bella went on to explain. "Well if I start spending a lot of time with you, that wouldn't be exactly fair to him."

He let out a frustrated sigh. _I don't want to hear this. I don't care about Jacob. Why does she have to drag him into this?_ Edward thought to himself.

"I still don't think I understand, Bella. You can be friends with more than one person at a time." Edward knew his voice sounded too abrupt and was overly defensive for no good reason, but he couldn't stop the words from coming out of his mouth. He was just plain tired of always being pushed aside for Jacob. Here, he was finally thinking that maybe all hope was not lost with salvaging his friendship with Bella and he was going to ruin it.

Bella rolled her eyes at him, something she only did if she was highly annoyed, so he knew he had pushed her too far. He mentally cursed himself for being so stupid.

"He is my boyfriend, Edward. What do you want me to do?" she snapped at him.

In that short second, everything stopped moving and became still. Edward felt as though he had been kicked in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him. _Boyfriend? Jacob Black was her boyfriend? _He didn't know what to say. _When did this happen? How could I have not seen it?_

"Boyfriend?" he stammered trying to get the word out.

Bella felt the sudden sting of regret for being so harsh. She had never expected Edward to respond like that.

"I am sorry, Edward," she told him softly. "I thought you knew."

He shook his head as he stared down at his hands. "I didn't."

Neither one of them said a word to the other for what felt like an eternity. Edward looked up, down, and all around the room, anywhere as long as he wasn't looking Bella straight in her eyes. He was afraid of what he might say to her. His mind ran wild at all the possible things that could slip out of his mouth if he was to let his emotions get the best of him.

Bella let out a loud sigh. "He isn't a bad person," she tried to explain to Edward. "I know you two may not get along but he cares about me and I care about him also. He was been amazing this past couple of weeks, trying to help me remember things and all."

He scoffed at the thought. _Remember things?_ Edward thought to himself. _What can he possibly help her remember? They spent two damn months together. That's it! He doesn't know anything about her._

Bella studied Edward closely when he didn't say anything. How he had his jaw tightly clenched, his cold, hard stare. She waited another moment before she spoke again.

"Are you not going to say anything?" she questioned him.

Edward finally brought his eyes back up to meet hers. "Do you love him?" The words came out of his mouth before his mind could even register what he was saying. Luckily for him, Bella, too, was shocked, giving him enough to somewhat cover himself. "Wait, don't answer that."

"I wasn't planning on it," Bella replied with a bit of an edge in her voice. "It's none of your business."

Edward took a deep breath and leaned in closer towards Bella across the lunch table. "Look, all I am saying is that he is going to break your heart and I don't want to see you get hurt." He struggled to keep his voice low and controlled.

"Excuse me?" she exclaimed, for she was offended by his accusation. "Jacob would _never_ hurt me. You have no right saying things like that about him when you don't even know him."

That was it. That was the last straw for Edward. He could feel the fuse of his temper reach its end. He vehemently slammed his hands down on the table in a fit of fury as he stood up. "God damn it, Bella!" he shouted. "He doesn't care about you! I don't care what he has told you. He is only going out with you just to prove to me that he can. He doesn't want you."

Bella looked up at him, taken back by his sudden furious outburst and infuriated expression. But it was his words that cut into her like a sharp knife. She immediately felt her eyes begin to swell up with tears.

"Is it that impossible for someone to actually want to be with me?" she asked, her voice breaking halfway through as her tears constricted her voice.

It was only then that Edward realized what he has just exactly told Bella. Of course that was not at all how he meant it, but hearing it the way he said it, he couldn't really be surprised that she had taken it the wrong way. He closed his eyes briefly as he let the painful reality sink in.

He instinctively reached out to touch Bella's arm, but she quickly pulled back. "That is not what I meant, Bella. I didn't mean it like –" but Bella rushed out of her seat, jerking her arm away from him, as she grabbed her backpack and books before he could go any further.

"Leave me alone," she muttered under her breath as she pushed past him.

Edward followed her across the cafeteria. "Bella, please, listen to me. I am sorry. Of course it is not impossible. In fact, it is the farthest thing from impossible. If only you could understand -"

Bella hastily turned around to face Edward so that they were only inches apart.

"So what I am stupid now, too?" she shouted at him. Edward did not know what to say. He was afraid that if he tried to defend himself again that Bella would just take what he was trying to tell her the wrong way, twisting his words around, something he assumed she must had picked up from spending so much time with Jacob. So in place of that, he simply stared at her. Here, he could see the hurt written all over her face: her cheeks were burning a bright red from anger, her eyes were watery and puffy, and her lower lip was quivering ever so slightly because she felt overwhelmed. Edward quickly darted his eyes away, not being able to stand the thought that he had done this to her yet again.

"Just stop it, Edward," Bella eventually pleaded, her voice low and strained from crying. "You know, all this time I thought Jacob was wrong about you. But it turns out that he was right. You have no regard for anyone but yourself." Her words burned from his surface down deep into his core.

He shook his head. "No don't say that, Bella, please. I'm just trying to protect you." Without thinking, he softly placed his hand on her cheek, touching her again for the first time. _Why am I always trying to touch her?_, he thought to himself.

Bella didn't answer right away. Instead, she looked intently at him trying to make sense of everything that was happening and how strangely he appeared to be behaving. But then she gave up. "Well if that's the case, then stop trying to protect me," she told him sharply right before storming away, leaving Edward standing alone in the crowded lunchroom.

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Edward drove with caution down the road as the rain pounded against his car. He had been trying to be the epitome of a safe driver since his dad gave him his driving privileges back a few days ago. But even with that responsibility back on his shoulders, he couldn't get his conversation that he had with Bella earlier that week out of his head. _I finally had my one opportunity to fix everything and I blew it._

At this point, Edward didn't even feel the burning ache in his heart anymore. Now, he felt nothing but numbness. Emotionless, cold numbness, which, as it turns out, is worse than the agony. Edward felt like a part of him had betrayed him by stopping him from experiencing the hurt. _I guess time does heal all wounds_. But he wished it didn't. He didn't feel like he deserved to be relieved of the guilt and anguish.

When he finally reached his home, Edward quickly grabbed his backpack from the front passenger seat and dashed quickly from the car to the door so he wouldn't get too wet from the rain. He threw his backpack onto the floor and took his black jacket off, hanging it up in the closet. He noticed out of the corner of his eye a yellow post-it on the kitchen table and walked over to read it. It was in his mother's handwriting: "Edward and Alice, I ran to the grocery store to pick up something to make for dinner and then I am going to bank. I shouldn't be out too long. Call me if you need me."

Edward let out a sigh of relief. Although he wasn't sure for how long, he had the house to himself since Alice had gone by Rosalie's house to study. He felt much over due for some serious alone time. He considered doing his homework to get it out of the way but opted to out it off until later. So instead, Edward plopped himself onto the couch with a couple of chocolate chip cookies Esme had made the previous day. He turned on the TV and quickly flipped through the channels, but found nothing of interest. Therefore, he shut it off and just finished the cookies.

With a deep breath, Edward leaned his head back against the couch and closed his eyes. He reveled in the silence that filled the house, minus the rain thudding against the roof and windows. The sound of the rain gave him a slight sense of normally but he knew that nothing was ever going to be truly normal ever again. It couldn't. Not with Bella out of his life for good.

His train of thought was suddenly interrupted by the doorbell ringing. Edward opened his eyes as he sat up, looking over towards the door. _It is probably Alice. I bet she forgot her house keys_, he figured.

He let out a let sigh as he dragged himself off the couch and walked over to the door. He opened it and his jaw involuntarily dropped as he took in the sight before him.

Her dark brown, mahogany hair was dripping wet as were her clothes. It seemed as though she had been standing there for a while before ringing the door bell. But what caught Edward's eye the most was the drops of water streaming down of her face. He could instantly tell that it was not due to rain but that she had been crying for her gentle eyes were slightly swollen.

Before he could say anything to her, Bella fell into his arms. She quickly wrapped her arms around Edward's neck and sobbed into his neck, pulling him close to her. Edward was stunned, as thought frozen in place, but regardless, it look him less than half a second for him to tightly wrap his arms around Bella as they stood out in the pouring rain. He could feel her tears seeping into his shirt along with the rain but he didn't say anything. He just let her get it all out.

Edward had no idea how long they were standing there together. Bella's tears didn't let up as they held onto each other. Edward kept one of his hands placed on the small of her back while he brought the other up to stroke the back of her head. Between her broken sobs with her head still buried in the crook of Edward's neck, Bella spoke.

"You were right," was all she was able to get out. Her throat was too constricted from crying and the tears.

In that moment, Edward had no idea what he was right about but quite frankly, he didn't care. All that matter now was Bella and that she needed him. For whatever reason, she came back to him today. Even though she was hysterical crying, Bella pulled _him_ closer to _her_. And this time, Edward wasn't letting her go.

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So there you have it, I hope it was somewhat worth the wait and I apologize for the cliffhanger and once again for making you wait so long. I tried really hard to plan this chapter out well in my head first before complying it all together. And I know so far this story has been kind of dark and depressing (I hadn't planned on it going on like this for so long) so I do apologize for that as well. I don't want to give anything away but get ready to start seeing some light coming through into the story lol. But anyways, please don't forget to review with your thoughts, comments, and criticisms. They all mean a lot to me and love reading them. I cant believe that I already have almost 100. I am so excited! Anyways, I am working on the next chapter right now and as long as there are no computer problems or illnesses, I promise to have it up soon.


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